Random Ramblings

Wowzer....It's been a while...

2011-12-27T14:50:00.000-08:00

Hey look people!!! I am NOT dead!!! I know all 5 of my blog readers have probably been very concerned lately. I havent updated since the beginning of August! Sheesh! Kind of a lot has happened since then. First of all, let me just say that my computer cord broke and so I have been using the internet on my phone...Needless to say, you cant update your blog from your phone.

Starting with the rest of August..... The trip to San Diego with my roommate and 2 friends was really great! We had so much fun! It was really great! In the middle of August we drove to Bear Lake and camped overnight for my roommate Bailey's birthday. It was kind of an adventure finding a place to camp and we ended up camping smack in the middle of a field. haha! Lots of fun things happened. I say that somewhat sarcastically... It was fun until I got SUPER sick that night. I was up off and on throwing up all night. It really WAS fun though because I met Brennan. I automatically thought he was super cute and funny, but I thought I had no chance with him. I just kept thinking I needed to think of one of my cute friends to set him up with. (I was also sorta dating someone else... HA) After Bear Lake I just enjoyed the rest of the summer until school started.

When school started I was teaching 3rd grade. I LOVED IT! I had a really fun team that I worked with, a super CUTE class with only 20 kids, and I loved my new school. Now, only 2 of those things are the same. I have a great team, and i love my school....but i do NOT have a cute class... or a small class. At the end of September I was switched to 5th grade because enrollment dropped and a 5th grade teacher volunteered to leave. I now know why she volunteered to leave. My class now is very hard. I have a HUGE range of ability and have HUGE attitudes about everything. I have to be mean teacher 24/7. Other teachers take my class for something and say "I don't know how you do it everyday!!"

Other than that, I started hanging out and getting know Brennan at the beginning of September. . We really started dating by the middle of September. We pretty much insta-bonded. He gets my sense of humor and we have fun just doing the simplest of things together. He is real smooth and charming and says all the right things. He makes me think and is easy to talk to. For some reason he likes me too...

As of lately I have just been working and hanging out with Brennan. I am moving in with Berkley again at the end of January! I am super excited. I came to my sister in AZ for Christmas and it has been delightful! We drove around with the windows down! Its so warm compared to Salt Lake! Its been so fun playing with my family too! Hooray for Christmas! and for not being dead! :)

Sum of the Summer

2011-08-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

This has been quite the adventurous summer! It started out being very stressful. And I was nervous I wasnt going to be able to enjoy much of it, but luckily it has turned out great!!! You should all (all 5 of you) be very proud of how many pictures I posted and that I posted any at all!!! :) Here a few gems of the summer thus far..

1.Going to the drive-in movie with our "living room"

2. Being silly with the best roomies a girl could have and laughing til we cry

Fireworks! and LOTS of them!!!

Watching softball!

camping trips!

parades!

more fireworks!

floating lazily in the water and working on my tan...

Journey and Foreigner concert!!!

playing games with friends

hikes!

flooded basement/water heater room... and scooping the junk out with fancy waders. (those things are cool! I was completely dry when I got out!!! I have to admit I had my doubts)

Any way... It has been a really fun, really adventurous summer. There have been some really HIGH highs... and some really low, lows. All in all I have learned SO much this summer about myself and about my testimony and even about my friends and the people around me. I have learned some life lessons and have been SSSOOOO beyond blessed. I couldn't be more grateful! I only have 2 weeks before I start doing school stuff and 3 weeks til school starts. I am getting really excited to start. To top off the summer, Chase, Bailey, Brian and I are all going to SIX FLAGS and SAN DIEGO for a few days at the end of this week and I am so excited!!! Pictures to come! Be prepared.

Boredom Ensues...

2011-07-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: water

2. Last phone call: Chase to get directions to his cabin

3. Last text message: My Mom saying see ya soon

4. Last song: Savior, Redeemer of My Soul - Dallyn Vail Bayles

5. Last time you cried: um... a week or so ago? i cant remember the exact date

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: kinda?

7. Been cheated on: no

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No

9. Lost someone special: YES

10. Been depressed: It happens, life is tough!

11. Been drunk and threw up: nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Blue

13. Purple

14. Green

SINCE LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes!!! I have funny roommates

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: yes

20. Found out someone was talking about you: kinda

21. Hit anyone on your FB friend's list: not in anger...hahaha

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: Met all of them at least once.

24. Do you have any pets: nope

25. Do you want to change your name: No way

26. What did you do for your last birthday: dinner with the fam, ice cream just dance and a movie with the roommies!

27. What time did you wake up today: 8:30-ish

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing a silly game

29. Whats something you can't wait for: SAN DIEGO/ SIX FLAGS this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30. Last time you saw your mother: about an hour ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself: im pretty happy with myself most days.

32. What are you listening to right now: a leaf blower drying out my crawl space.... long story...........

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yep

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: deciding what to do.....

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook

37. Nickname(s): Kels, Kelson, Kelso,

38. Relationship Status: single

39. Zodiac Sign: gemini

40. He or She: Well I'm a she, but I like hes?

41. Elementary: Metcalf and Rivergold

42. High School: Star Valley and Stevens

43. College: Brigham Young University - Idaho

44. Hair color: brown

45. Long or short hair: long

46. Height: 5'10 ish

47. Do you have a crush on someone? do we have to go there?

48. What do you like about yourself: I care a lot about other people.

50. Tattoos: nope

51. Righty or lefty: righty

52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth

53. First piercing: Ears

54. First best friend: Rhoda Sevingy

55. First sport you joined:T-ball

56. First vacation: Probably camping.... or else to Portland Oregon when I was 4...

59. Eating: Reeses.....yum.....

60. Drinking: nothing

61. I'm about to: take a nap

62. Listening to: Didn't we do this one already?

63. Waiting for: Thursday so i can go to San Diego

YOUR FUTURE

64. Want kids?: YES! someday

65. Get Married?: Someday!

66. Career?: Teacher!

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes : I notice eyes before lips... so eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: depends

69. Shorter or taller: taller

70. Older or Younger: not too picky

71. Romantic or spontaneous: both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: eh... either or neither.

73. Sensitive or loud: depends on the moment

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

75. Funny or Shy?: funny

76. Kissed a stranger: No

77. Drank hard liquor: nope

80. Broke someone's heart: unfortunately

81. Had your own heart broken: Yes

82. Been arrested: Nope

83. Turned someone down: yes.....

84. Cried when someone died: YES

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: most of the time

87. Miracles: Yes!

88. Love at first sight: no

89. Heaven: yes

90. Santa Clause: no

91. The tooth fairy: No

92. Angels: yes

Man.... i think that made me more bored.... HAHA

Power of Music

2011-07-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

WOW!! I went and saw 17 miracles... I dont usually full on cry in movies...and I didn't in this movie until the very end... A song came on that was SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO powerful! its called "Savior, Redeemer of my Soul" by Dallyn Vail Bayles......AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! Lyrics to follow!!! BUY IT NOW!!! Listen to his version while you read the lyrics!

1. Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

2. Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

3. O’errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Life is a Gift!

2011-07-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

As my previous post kind of alludes to, I have been doing a lot of introspection, a lot of thinking. Yes, about how it's easy to be blinded by what you think you want instead of you really want (aka what the Lord wants for you). It's easy to be prideful. I spent the day in a bit of a tizzy because (to make a long story short) my car was acting up. Yes, my brand new car. Yes, AGAIN! So, I spent pretty much my whole day figuring it out and getting it fixed. Apparently my car needs a solid platinum hose to pump freaking steering fluid... ok... so maybe that was a BIT of an exaggeration, but even so the stupid hose was $280 alone! And with labor it ended up being $460 to fix it. Yup, even got a second opinion... Like I said, solid platinum hose.....
But then my roommate text me and said she found tickets to Journey and we decided to go!

When I got home, I got news of a person in my ward that had passed away. I didn't even know this person, but even so it was yet another slap to the face. Here I am so easily upset, then so easily pleased all in one day. I have taken advantage of being alive and well and being able to live with MANY MANY blessing and many things that I don't REALLY need. It made me realize we shouldn't take our lives or ANYTHING in them for granted. Being on earth is such a blessing and such an amazing opportunity and you never know when it's going to be over. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the little moments in life. One of my project quotes even says "Moments are the molecules that make up eternity." Soak up everything you can and BE GRATEFUL!!!!! EVERYDAY!!!

2X4...WHACK

2011-07-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

Remember that 2x4 I mentioned in a previous post? The one that the Lord often has to beat me over the head with before I learn a lesson? I feel like I have gotten it a lot lately. The Lord has really made me see how stupid I have been (in a good way). I have really felt reprimanded lately, again in a good way. I really needed it to realize a lot of things. I realized how scared I have been. I am really good at putting up a front and pretending (maybe sometimes so well that I actually believe it) that I know whats going on and what I want. The Lord says, it's not about what YOU want.... and The Lord has made me realize that a lot of me "knowing" was really me being scared and putting up a wall. It hasn't been the first time, but at least this time I recognized it fairly quickly. Hopefully it will be the last. I wish I could go back and take down that wall A LOT sooner. My heart kind of aches to think of how it could have been. In complete honesty, it sucks learning the hard way... and realizing how it could have been, but I am fairly optimistic. If nothing else, hopefully I have learned my lesson. Hopefully I can stop being so scared of growing up and being an adult and moving on to the next step in my life. I am worried that the opportunity may not present itself again, but luckily I have the gospel and I know life is all about starting over and learning! Hooray for learning life lessons, usually the hard way...

Favorites as of Late...

2011-07-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

My background is one of my favorite color combinations...yellows, greens(I almost spelled green, grean... I need to get back into to teaching, my brain is turning to MUSH) blues, add some orange maybe! LOVE IT! If I get married any time soon those will be my wedding colors! with GRAY! I kind of LOVE gray tux's right now too...

I am really getting into the vintage-y stuff!! I secretly sometimes wish I could pull off being "hipster" not meaningall the way... but sometimes they dress REALLY cute!!!

I LOVE craftgawker.com! Coolest thing ever! it has a lot of vintage-y stuff too!! still getting used to pintrest... but it has peaked mine if you know what i mean ;)... ok.... that was cheesy....

I LOVE getting to take a nap if I want to! It's quite possibly my favorite thing EVER! I don't always do it, but it's so nice to have the option...

I love having friends that seem to know when you need a talk (about nothing really...) even when YOU don't realize it until after

I love having roomies that make you laugh AALLLL night long....

I LOVE Dr. Pepper... oh wait... that's not new...

I love having the anticipation of a new job...and seeing my niece and nephews...BOTH in a month!

I love thinking about getting all my teacher junk OUT of my room!

I love glitter toes!!! So cute!!

I love having TIME... I can sit and think.... which is honestly one of my favorite things. I can take a walk, I can do a project. I can read! I can really do WHATEVER I want WHENEVER I want. True, I may not use the freedom to it's full extent...but again, it's nice to have the option.

I LOVE being able to google something real quick on my phone... like an address, or the name of that actor I can't remember etc etc etc. It's so handy to have and often feeds my intense (and extremely random) wonderings that would other wise be forgotten due to my ADD....

I love strawberry shakes lately.

Lots of loves.... T.T.F.N.

Tootie's got a job!!!!

2011-07-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

I am the newest teacher at Whittier Elementary!! (of course I automatically thought of you, Tara....) I am going to be teaching 3rd grade and I am SSSOOO excited! It's funny because I went into the interview this morning really groggy and not feeling myself. I had some really weird dreams last night that I can't really remember, I just remember being confused the whole time.... So I was still feeling the after effects and felt like I didn't say a single intelligent thing the whole interview (but strangely I never got nervous. I was actually really excited the whole time. Foreshadowing??) but around 1 pm I got in the shower and when I got out I saw I had missed a school from a district phone number. Thinking it was another school calling for an interview, I listened to my voice mail. I was SHOCKED when I heard the voice of the principal I just interviewed with! Only a few hours later! I freaked out at first and was too nervous to call her back. I had to think about it because there is a position at the school where I did my student teaching....and I would have LOVED to go back there... But, I still didn't even have an interview with Redwood and it's not a guaranteed job there either... I felt REALLY good about Whittier and decided to take the job. I called her back and she offered me the job! I am SSOO excited! It's a REAL contract this time too, so even if, for some reason, Whittier doesnt have room for me next year, I will get surplused and just have to move schools instead of actually having to interview again! THANK GOODNESS for the Lord teaching me and BLESSING me! Thank goodness for answered prayers! and Thank you ALL for praying for me and supporting me throughout this CRAZY time in my life! :) Opening faculty meeting is August 15th and school starts the 22nd!! YAHOO!!!!!

PS a note about the title... my nephew Spencer tried to say my name today and it came out "tootie" HAHAHAH so funny!

Stand Still, Look Pretty

2011-07-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever done something that you really regret? I have. Very recently. If I had another chance, I would do almost everything different. I regret the situation for a lot of reasons. I feel like several friendships were injured in the process and unfortunately I am on the giving AND receiving end of the injured relationships. It has really gotten to me lately. For one, I felt terrible for the way I treated someone that was very close to me. For another, I feel like things were said that established that sometimes people really think of me what I hope they don't. They expressed things about me that are quite possible, but were not purposeful. But to them they were purposeful. It hurt to know that they thought those things about me. They said a lot with their actions. Maybe it's bad, but I feel like a lot of the things are what they really think of me. I really took what they said hard. Thankfully, I feel like for the most part the issue that was my fault has been resolved and we are friends again and with time will be back to normal. As for the others, I don't think they really feel bad about what happened. I guess I just need to forgive and forget. I don't even think they know how much it has bothered me. (even after I tried to tell them) Which just tells me they really don't know me very well. PS All of these 3 were some of what I consider to be my closest friends in Salt Lake.

Along with all the friend issues I still don't have a job. It's unbelievably frustrating, disheartening, de-motivational, etc. etc. I will have interview number 6 on Tuesday. I had one today, that I still haven't heard back from. I shouldn't complain. At least I am getting interviews, right? Even so, I got denied the job for interview number 4 only hours after having the interview, right smack in the middle of all the friend drama. I am a worrier, so of course I am freaking out about what the future holds. Worst case scenario runs in my head over and over.... only I can't even quite imagine worst case scenario because I honestly I have NO idea what I will do if I can't get a job.

It's hard because I feel like because of the stress, my sensitivity is heightened. I am kind of to the point that I feel like I just keep getting kicked while I am down. I am really trying to stay positive, which is honestly REALLY hard right now. I am pretty good at putting on an act and pretending to be normal, but I have spent a lot of time alone for a reason. Time passes in such a strange way because I just zone out, not really thinking about much specific or else the exact same thing over and over... and then my day is suddenly over. Any way... I really like this song, and I feel like it kinda fits for now. Life WILL get better, I just gotta hang in there.

I want to paint my face
And pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

[Chorus]
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
In the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
Even believe this is my life

WHACK!

2011-06-28T00:19:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately, often times, I have to learn by being beat over the head with a figurative 2x4 to get a point. The good thing I suppose is that that is how I learn best. I learn very quickly. The most recent 2x4 was how clueless I am when it comes to boys. I just don't get it. No amount of help or suggestions seems to do the trick....maybe someday I will get hit with the 2x4 of how to deal with boys and know what to do. Until then....

Just What Every Girl Needs.....

2011-06-15T22:58:00.000-07:00

Today was my 24th birthday! And it was quite a fantastic one at that! I started off by sleeping in til about 9, showering and then meeting my friend Michonn for pedicures and manicures! It was heavenly. Both of us were pretty much in comas because we were SSOOO relaxed. At one point I was spoiled enough to get both at the same time..... After that I went to the mall and treated myself to a couple new shirts. (I had like THE best parking spot in the whole place too, prob. cuz it was my birthday... HA) After the mall I took a nice nap (had a really weird dream that I can't remember any more). My fam came over at about 5 and we all went to dinner at Applebees. My family is always good for a laugh. I sure love them. My brothers argued about baseball teams the whole time. After dinner my brothers had me drive to a car wash and gave Rita VIP treatment. (she deserves a spa day too apparently) She is super shiny and pretty now. I have to admit she looks pretty hot when she's clean. When I got home from dinner/car wash, my lovely roommates were waiting with a BEAUTIFUL cake as seen in the picture above (Reeses--my fav) and presents! I felt SSSOOO spoiled! Here is a picture of all the super sweet loot I was spoiled with. I thought about doing a picture of each, but then i remembered how lazy I am when it comes to posting pictures here, so you get a picture of it all. I will note each individual though because I LOVED all of them! LOOK CLOSE!

2 shirts from AERO that I treated myself to.
the white volcom shirt from Bay
I tunes gift card from the Berkster
ALL three Hunger Games books
A KITE!! also from Berks (can't wait to test that baby out!)
2 head bands (look close! they are there)
a sun shield (is that what you call them?) for my car! Rita got spoiled for my birthday too.
and finally, a BEAUTIFUL flannel quilt my mom made! I LOVE it!!!
OH POOH!!! I forgot to put it in the picture! Bailey got me a HUGE case of Dr. Pepper!

Finally, to top off the wonderful birthday, Mallory (4th roommate) came over and we lit sparklers in our backyard! I had like ALL of my favorite things in one day! The only favorite things that were missing were a few friends and my sisters family.... but I suppose its excusable, this time.....YAY!!! It's gonna be a good year! I can tell! Thanks all of you wonderful friends and family that made my birthday SSSOOOO great! It really was just what every girl needs on her birthday!

bored, bored, boredity, bored

2011-06-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

Being bored and having a lot of extra time on my hands has made me be very introspective. Last night, after 2 nights in a row of mysteriously not being able to sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, I decided to read my old journal. Most of it is from the good old college days. It brought back a lot of really really good memories! And it really made me realize how kind of bitter and cynical I have been lately. I have just let the stress of being an adult get to me."Reliving" my college days made me realize how different my attitude was then and how it is now. I remember being so much more optimistic and fun loving. I kinda almost feel like an old fuddy duddy....(I will be a whopping 24 tomorrow) Not that I want to go back.... I think I have learned a lot of valuable lessons from then until now. And in complete honesty I think it was REALLY good for me to relive some of those experiences because I think I have kind of forgotten the lessons I learned. It was a good slap in the face to realize I needed to relearn/remember a few of those lessons I learned. But I think I need some of that youthful "carelessness" back in my life. I have vowed to be better at working out. I haven't for longer than I would even like to admit.... I'm gonna take it pretty easy at first, but I would even go as far as saying that I want to be able to run a 5k EASILY next summer. Don't worry, I don't think I will ever be crazy enough to do anything more than a 5k. Props to those of you that do and enjoy it. Any way, here's to being less grouchy-old-lady and more fun-less stressed-young-lady! Hooray for being 24!

Last Day of School!

2011-06-03T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished my first year of teaching!!! What a crazy experience! I can't believe I started almost a year ago! (July sometime) Some of the kids I am SSOO glad to be rid of and others I will really miss a lot! WAHOO!! I'm done!!! Now lets hope I GET a second year to teach!

When it rains, it POURS! Literally!!!!

2011-05-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

Weirdest. Day. Ever. Instances below....

I stayed late at school because I have a bunch to get done by the end of the school year. When I came out of school my brand new, barely a month old car would NOT start. I have never ever had that happen to me...even with my old car. I immediately called my friend Gabe. He is a mechanic and works out kinda by my school. He came right out (even though he was already home). It was POURING buckets of rain right before he got there (SSSOOO sick of this freak rain that wont go away in Utah). Luckily it stopped right before he came. When we popped my hood he tightened too little nuts on the wires that connect the battery and it started right up. No problem. THANKFULLY, but only the beginning of my weird/ironic evening.
I drove home and met Gabe at my house. I told him I would take him to dinner because he drove all the way out there to help me. Before I left, I realized that my roommate Berkley had text me to make sure I got my car started, so I quickly text her back explaining what happened. Then she text me back and said "who is this?" "This isn't Berkley, this is Emily..." i totally thought my roommate was trying to tease me and just playing a joke...and i text her back things like "oh ok....really??? then why do i have you in my phone as Berkley...and you just text me 5 mins ago...." but oh no... As I pull into my drive this random girl calls me and says "I'm sorry, I don't know you... I am not Berkley." Oh yes... my possessed phone said i was texting Berkley, but I was really texting some completely random person.....
So Gabe and I are on our way to dinner and all of the sudden my white car, the car I sold a month ago drives past full of this little family. I am 99.99% sure it was my car because it still had my Dad's triple A stickers on the back bumper and my planet fitness parking sticker (too bad I forgot to grab that!) in the window. What are the odds??? You can ask Gabe, I was freaking out. I even took a picture on my phone(we'll get to the picture later). It was SSOO weird to see someone else driving that car... I have too many memories (good and bad) in that car......
Gabe and I have dinner, he takes me home and I go to use my phone to get online. My mobile hot spot was not working... So, finally fed up with my phone being temperamental lately I decided to take it to the Verizon store. Example A...it had turned itself off (at this point) 4 times during the day, completely by itself. They gave me a phone number and I spent an hour on the phone with tech support 70% of which I spent on hold and asking the lady if she was really still there.... They gave me all these things to do and then FINALLY said ok! It should be fine!
I go connect to the internet, and then I am watching TV with my roomies. I push a button to check my phone....what do you know.... it had turned itself off AGAIN. I turned it back on, checked it, put it down and then not two minutes later i saw the light flash like i had a message, so i checked it again..... it turned off again!!!!!!!!!!!! So i called the dumb tech support people back and told them the whole story for the 93rd time and got disconnected. So i called and told the story for the 94th time. They finally decided to reset my phone completely. I specifically asked if I would loose my pictures, and the man assured me I would not (the only reason I agreed to the reset).
I go through the reset and only AFTER the reset did I realize i had put a password on my phone that i needed to get back into my contacts and saved info....did i remember the password?? of course not. and to reset the password I had to go to my e-mail....I DONT HAVE INTERNET WITHOUT MY PHONE!!!!!!!!!!
I set up a new/temp/fake account so that i can use the internet to check my password, RE reset my phone, change the profile to my original profile and let it load.
Contacts in tact! YAY! Pictures....gone forever..... NO picture of my old car I sold.... no cute picture of my niece and nephews.... no picture of the San Diego Temple for my background....
no extra time in the night to go grocery shopping like i needed.
Now I am so riled up i cant sleep even though thats all I really want to do.

Monday:10

ME: zip, zero, zilch

I figure its only right... I had this amazing revelatory Sunday in which I realized everything is in the Lord's hands and as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to he will lead me where I need to be. So i told him yesterday "Ok Lord, Its in your hands! I am trusting you! I am not going to whine and stress any more!" and now he is saying FINALLY, but Ok.... lets make sure.....he's testing me and hopefully I passed.

Frustration is an understatement.....

2011-05-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

BAH!!!! I am so annoyed! First of all, I had an interview for a 6th grade position. They had to have had someone already picked out because they hardly listened to a word I said. One lady interrupted me mid sentence and said "oh.... will it ever stop raining???" They weren't even listened to a word. It's not like I was being long winded either. I also found out yesterday that my friend was interviewed at the school I thought I for sure had good chance at getting. So, I was pretty upset that I didn't even get called for an interview. My principal came and talked to me and said "for some reason you weren't on the list of people she was going to interview." So... I researched a little more and found out that my application did not go through. I filled it out and everything. Not to mention I emailed the principal and said I was interested in interviewing. BUT apparently she didn't get my application and therefore chose not to interview me. I feel like a scum bag because my principal went to a lot of work talking me up to this principal and my principal even said "I'm pretty sure she would have given you a job if you would have gotten an interview." SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating that I didn't double check! It's my own dumb fault for not making sure it went through... that was the job I was counting on. Bah Hum bug.... I suppose I wasn't supposed to get it and the Lord has other plans...as frustrating as it is..... I was a shoe in.......

Balance

2011-05-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

There's this song that was on my friends facebook page a while ago and I listened and kind of fell in love with the song. It is sung by Natalie Weiss, who is simply amazing! It's called Quiet. It kinda goes along with some things I have been thinking lately. It says:
"What's the perfect balance between yelling too much, and not yelling enough so that people don't walk over you. Is it a crime just to want to be nice, to avoid confrontation, and show everyone a little respect. Time after time I find that I'm struggling to tell you what's burning inside..."

I probably don't mean it in the same context as the song (if you go listen to it). But I suppose I have been contemplating balance in all things lately. Especially in relationships, not just romantic ones. I had a friend sit me down and tell me how I needed to be more "fun" (his version of fun) and that I needed to go out to parties and be more outgoing. And I agree, partially. I don't think I should change who I am just to be more "fun". I don't enjoy going to parties. I am the quiet one in the corner because I don't want to be there. I tried to explain our personality differences there, but he chalked it up to me being a "good Mormon girl". Don't take this the wrong way. He sounds like a jerk when I explain it that way. He is very outspoken. I take everything he said with about a GALLON of salt. It didn't bother me per-say, I am pretty comfortable with who I am... but it did make me think. What's the balance?? I don't want to be the sit-at-home-hermit-girl but at the same time I'm not the go out wild and crazy girl either.... and for that matter... Where's the balance for a lot of things... flirty but not too flirty, nice but not too nice, happy but not too happy, mature but not boring, etc.... Is it a crime to be shy?? or to like staying at home once in a while? or not be the outgoing-get-all-the-boys type of girl????Admittedly I am shy. I have to get to know someone pretty well before my personality really comes out and I think that gets translated and me being boring. I have to say, I am a million times better now that I was in High School. Progress is progress?

And as for the last line in the song... I feel like a lot of times, for some reason, I have hard time explaining myself out loud. In almost anything. Sometimes, when I blog, it comes out easily and nicely and I feel better after doing it... but other times, like today, I don't feel satisfied in getting my thoughts on paper. It still feels jumbled. Any way.... a moment in my brain for you......

Can I do this?!?!?!

2011-05-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today was probably one of my worst teaching days EVER. Things were going perfectly fine. We started Book clubs, and were about to review for our CRT test that was after lunch (still a a good two hours away......or so i thought...) Next thing I know the office is calling down to my room saying "you are 15 mins late for your CRT test... Mr. Cole needs you down there as soon as possible." To which I responded "Oh, actually my test today is at 1:30..." to which THEY responded "we had to change it last minute, you need to go now." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! We hadn't reviewed at all since last week, my kids are NOT focused and not in testing mode AT all and now I have to RUN them to the computer lab with out a potty break or drink to HURRY and take this test that(hurry and CRT test should not belong in the same sentence unless NOT is in there...) that takes an hour but there is only 45 mins til lunch.... and TRUST me, my kids are like little atomic clocks and can sense when it is exactly lunch time. There goes ALL hope of them staying focused on the test....Not the mention the fact that I had no time to prep them and get them in calm test mode...

Let's just put it this way... I had 2 kids finish in less that ten minutes... (with at least 6 full page passages they had to read to answer the questions.... apparently they are genius kids and have been tricking me this whole year) and I had about 5 kids that were more interested in playing with the on screen tools (highlighter, inverting the color, strike through etc) then actually reading or answering questions.... Best part was that we can't leave til everyone is done with the section...so I have 20 hungry kids that are finished and antsy and pointing to the clock every time I glance in their direction and 5 that are so busy highlighting, wiggling the mouse or even using their pencil as some sort of massage tool on their face to actually finish their test... I was SSSOOOO annoyed with the office... and they could care less because it doesn't effect them what-so-ever.

Lucky me, thats how I get evaluated as a teacher....they look at kids that could care less about a test and if they don't score well I am the one thats screwed... tell me how that makes sense!?!?!?!

My theme song right now... It's called Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae. Here are my favorite parts

It's been a really really messed up week
Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn't matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

I don't know if I'll make it BUT WATCH HOW GOOD I'LL FAKE IT
Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

realizations

2011-05-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

The more I talk to other people and the more I think about my life, the more I realize how I am no where near ready to be married.... Don't get me wrong... someday I would love to be... but for me, personally, I don't see that day being any time soon. The End...

Visitors......

2011-04-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

So, tonight, a regular Wednesday night... or so I thought. I got home from work and my friend Gabe that lives down the street called and wanted to hang out. He knows a ton about cars, and I am thinking of trading mine in, so he came over to help me look. A little later, our friend Chase came over. My roommate Berkley came up and was making herself dinner, so the four of us (Berk, Gabe, Chase and I) were in the kitchen talking. Chase brought up something about how Gabe had just bought a new hand gun, so Gabe decided to go grab it out of his truck. Berk and I were both a little nervous... and so after a little bit Gabe went outside to put his gun back in his truck.

All of the sudden, I notice see flash lights in my back yard. Then two cops with a dog walk past my kitchen window. I thought what the heck is going on!?!?! Thats when I heard the knock on my front door. My friend Chase answered the door and the person that had knocked stood back so we had to come outside to see him. It was another cop (thankfully, not some psychopathic killer, which I have to admit crossed my mind...) He asked if we were the only ones there, and if we could please step outside. Of course by this time I am thinking maybe the previous renters had done something and we were getting the blame. Then the cop says "do you know that guy over there?" I honestly didn't see any one at first so I am sure I looked really confused... then I realized my friend Gabe was off in the distance talking to another cop. With pure terror in my voice and a little shock I said "Gabe?!?!?! long pause..... yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh..... how come? Is something wrong?" And then the cop asked if there was a problem and what we were doing and why he was at my house with a gun. I was like um no... nothing is wrong he was just showing us the gun he bought. He is a friend that lives down the street. So then the cop hands the gun itself back to Gabe, and the clip to my roommate Berkley and tells her not to give it to him until he is all the way back inside the house.

I guess what happened was that the cops were outside my house because our neighbors had gotten in a fight and one of them said they were going to kill themselves and so someone called the cops (great neighborhood I live in right??). The cops were staked outside my house watching to see what was going on at the neighbors and trying to find the guy that was suicidal because I guess he was walking around outside. Then out walks Gabe with a gun in his hand. He said he had two assault rifles pointed in his face and a dog that was too close for comfort. WRONG place and the WRONG time! haha Kind of a funny story even if Gabe and I both about peed our pants! I told Gabe I couldn't be his friend any more because he was a bad influence on me. :)

Yay for a little excitement in my life!

Jazz!

2011-04-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

Lately I have had a little excitement in my life.... the best thing...My friend called me last Wednesday and told me he had Jazz tickets. And I thought oh thats fun! I will go... and then I got there and found out our seats were on the 7th ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was AMAZING! We sat right behind the Nuggets. We could see them making their plays! It was so fun! I LOVED it! and it was kind of a tender moment for me because the first LIVE Jazz game I saw was against the Nuggets in the pre season when I first moved to Salt Lake. SO fun! UNFORTUNATELY my fav, CJ Miles, was not playing... that is probably the only thing that would have made it better.

Awkward....

2011-04-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

Um dang... I just realized my background says Happy New Year! HAHA

AND I found out today that it is most likely I am NOT staying at my school next year. There two positions available and they were filled by involuntary transfers. Which means I will be switching schools and i have to re interview and all that jazz... lame.....

Annoyances

2011-04-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Ug... When I start getting stressed it seems to translate to other parts of my life and it really annoys me. Being stressed annoys me because I tend to stress over things that I can't control...and mentally I think this is SO stupid to stress over! theres nothing I can do about it! but yet i still stress over it... and then because I'm stressed little things start to annoy me... and then i get annoyed that im getting annoyed. Its kind of a vicious cycle...

Any way... the reason I was posting is because its the end of the year... which means CRT's for my kiddos... (state tests) which stresses me out. It's kind of a lot of pressure on me and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of panicking. Oh well! I guess theres not a TON that I can do now. (SEE! Stressing about something I can't really change!)

AND I am kind of kicking myself, because I signed a one year only contract. Which basically means that no matter what I have to re-interview for a job. Even if I get to stay at my school. BUT to top it all off... we have to wait. If there is a teacher at another school that gets surplused to my school, they would get my spot before I would... LAME right?? The District is dragging their feet and taking their time placing surplus teachers (why do they care right? they have a job!) They were supposed to be placed by last week! SO as soon as they are placed, my principal will know if she can interview. Then I would have to interview for my position. My principal has basically said if it comes to interviewing i would get to stay. I just hate not knowing.

blog blues....

2011-03-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

I suck at blogging right now... I started blogging about my trip and then I just fizzled and stopped.... I felt like I was rambling and everything I could come up with to say about my trip was less than mediocre. DONT get me wrong! My trip was WAY WAY more than mediocre, I just couldn't write about it very well... My writing skills have recently gone into hibernation apparently. So, if you want to check out my Arizona trip (maybe some day I will finish the post) you will have to take a look at my rad-tacular picture on facebook. Hope to rejoin the blogging world again soon....

THE END.

WHOA!!!

2011-02-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

I am BACK! It has been far too long. I haven't had too much to say, and can't say that I have much to say now...but it's been a really long time. Life is good. Same old same old, but thats kinda the way I like it. I really do love my life as of now. I love my job. I love working with my students and the fun we have together even if it makes me crazy sometimes. I love my ward and my calling. I love my new house and my roommates! They are fantastic! I feel like this is almost a pointless post. I haven't been having any deep meaningful thoughts I wanna share lately...

One thing I suppose I could share is how much I hate dating. Nothing against guys I have been on dates with. Going on dates just makes me remember how much I hate them... and maybe I should be more specific in saying I hate FIRST dates.... I think I would enjoy dating a LOT more if I weren't having 800 first dates. I swear first dates are always bad. My attitude doesn't help. In complete honesty, if I could skip ever having a first date ever again, I would do it. Bleh...........

Also, this coming break, in the middle of March, I am going to see my sisters family! My brother is going with me so it will be a lot of fun! I have never flown with a buddy before, its always been solo. I will also, hopefully, be going to Chicago to see my good friend. In the summer I will hopefully be going to San Fran to see ANOTHER good friend! I am so lucky to have the job I do! Any way... thats all for now.

Kiddos

2010-12-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

Some days I really really love my job... other days I never want to go back. It funny though, how much kids can teach you if you let them. Thats probably what I love most about my job. A few random kiddo stories from lately...

I can't remember what we were talking about now but for some reason I told them they were too young to have boyfriends and girlfriends and then someone piped up and said well HE has one! and the student that was pointed out said NO!!! It's just a pretend one!!! haha it was pretty hard not to laugh about that one
One of my sweetest most innocent girls came up to me yesterday with something in her hands. When I looked I was shocked to see it was the LEG to her desk! She looked terrified and said Miss H? This fell off... I asked her how it happened thinking some kid sat on her desk or something and she said nothing... i was just doing my work when it fell and hit my leg. By that time the other students has seen the look of shock on my face and were all laughing and freaking out as much as I was. So incredibly random... it literally just FELL off...
I had a very bitter sweet experience a while ago. One of my boys was suddenly crying. I asked him to come over and talk to me and tell me what was going on. He told me he missed his dad. When I asked him where he was now he said in Heaven... he killed himself when i was a baby. (my heart sank) but i had a very tender opportunity to cheer him up. (I could kind of relate) I asked him what he thought his dad was doing now. And he said well he is in Heaven... and i said yeah! he is! and do you think he is happy in Heaven? as the boy thought about it he said yeah... i bet he is! and Then I said you know, i bet he is SO happy there! And he is always watching down on you and is so proud of what you are doing! Whenever you get said i want you to think about how happy he is now! ( almost exactly what I do when I get sad about my dad--although mine is probably a little more in depth because I don't think this kid is LDS.) But the more i talked to him about it, the smile on his face got bigger and i could tell that even though he missed his dad, he could be ok. I have to admit i had a REALLY hard time not crying my eyes out...
I cant remember if i have said this story here or not so i will say it again. I had one student ask me as we were lining up for lunch "So, what do you do for a living?" I am sure i looked utterly confused when i said "um.... I'm a teacher..." light bulb for the student--"Oh.........." with a look like yeah... i guess that does make sense.....
Not too long after that a student asked why i was mean... or something like that... and I said "because this is my job".and one boy yells out "OH!!!! Is that why you wear clothes like that all the time?" Kind of offended i said "clothes like what?" he said "clothes like..... that...." and pointed to what i was wearing that day. Still confused I said "Huh??? Do I wear weird clothes or something?" He just stared at me like I was supposed to know what he meant, so I dropped it.
It's like they don't realize that teaching is my job....

Any way... thats all I can think of for now...Teaching: what an emotional roller coaster!

Dream house.... So I'm a little late...

2010-11-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

I Love brick houses!! they are so cute! like this one!

I Love this kitchen! I just found pictures of stuff I like...and you can get an idea! haha :)

and I need at least one of these in my dream house

A cute and calm room for my and my dream husband (remember we are dreaming here)

SSOOO cute!!! I love the colors in this living room! and a fireplace is a must!!

wouldn't mind one of these....

Giant walk in closet? alright... you convinced me!

well there you have it!! an over view of the basics of what my dream house would look like. I didn't include kid rooms cuz who knows if I will have boys or girls or what they will like! hahaha :)

Pictures I Love!!!

2010-11-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

Cheeser Spenner

Drooly Spencer

Gracie Lou Freebush

Scooter

Spiderman Scott

Super Kids

Me and the goofiest girl

Liverbutt and I at Disneyland

O Jerusalem - Greg Olsen

Christ with a Child

Rexburg Temple

There are more.... but i am too lazy to find more.... :)

Goals

2010-11-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Short Term

go to the temple AT LEAST once a month preferably more
continue to improve in teaching
Improve my patience
improve my faith
be more grateful
serve more

Long term

continually prepare to someday (hopefully soon) get my endowments
go back to school some day and get my masters
get married and have kids
be a stay at home mom
get and stay out of debt (don't worry it was only for school)

What I believe!

2010-11-20T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today's post is all about what I believe. I believe in my savior and redeemer, Jesus Christ. I believe that we have modern day prophets that lead and guide us. I believe that if we live worthily (by guide lines set forth) we can return to live with Heavenly Father and continue to learn and progress. and also by living worthily we can receive our own revelations from God. He loves us with a perfect love that we don't come near to comprehending. We have agency to choose, but he is always there trying to guide us to the path he wants for us. I believe in the priesthood and that it is the power of God.

I believe that people are mostly good. (maybe I'm too trusting) I believe I can achieve whatever I really set my mind to. I believe that children are our future (HA! but no, really) I believe that sometimes children know more than I do about somethings, or at least that they often shed a different light and perspective that adults don't usually see. I Believe a lot of stuff... this is just a brief overview! :)

Favorite TV shows

2010-11-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

Glee
House
So You Think You Can Dance
Modern Family
the Office
What Not to Wear

Fears

2010-11-19T19:01:00.000-08:00

OOPS! Day late!!! writing on your blog every day is exhausting....

I am afraid of...

spiders/mice/creepy crawly things....
getting kidnapped/murdered (sometimes i can't sleep at night cuz i'm sure someone is gonna sneak in....i know i am paranoid.)
getting in a car wreck
things I can't control
failure
things that jump out (I'm super jumpy)
intimidating people

IPOD on shuffle!

2010-11-17T18:57:00.000-08:00

Untouchable - Taylor Swift
Merry Chirstmas Darling - Glee Cast (I just bought it... don't think I listen to Chirstmas music before Thanksgiving)
To Sir With Love - Glee Cast
The Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie
Quiet - Lights
Don't Let Go - David Archuleta
Living in Your Letters - Dashboard
Times Like These - Foo Fighters
Matters of Blood and Connection - Dashboard
Like A Prayer - Glee

Dang... I was excited for this one...and its a little more lame that i was hoping... I have way better songs than this!

A Place I have traveled

2010-11-16T20:27:00.000-08:00

Um... probably the coolest place I have been is Seattle!! I loved it there! It was so green and lush! I also loved the feel of the city (even though there were lots of bums) I loved the bay/harbor and the city scape(especially from the space needle) One of my best friends Katelyn and I drove from Idaho and spent two nights in a hotel. The hotel actually turned out to be pretty nice and we had so much fun together. Probably my favorite vacation either. I don't feel like posting pictures... look in May of 2009 to see my pictures... :) and the full story!

Favorite Movies

2010-11-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

Singing in th Rain
White Christmas
Princess Bride
My Best Friend's Wedding

I can't think of any more... those are some of them...

A song that makes me cry

2010-11-14T22:42:00.000-08:00

Songs are very near and dear to my heart. And i have several songs that I have cried to. Listening to music really seems to let me face my realities and come to terms with things going on in my life, so I have cried to a lot of songs. BUT one that always makes me cry, almost always... Abide with me--166. We sang it at my dad's funeral. Plus it just strikes a chord with me. Also I Know that my Redeemer lives. Also sang at my dad's funeral, but I cried at that one even before that. there are lots of hymns that when played on the right day will make me cry.....

Things that Make me happy!!

2010-11-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

Spencer!

Grace and Scott!

My family in general!

laughing

sleeping (and sleeping in)

the temple

Having my alone time.

FALL!!!! ( I got sick of trying to find pictures)

Eating yummy food!

Being with or talking to good/old friends

Things I am looking forward to

2010-11-12T15:53:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving break!
Christmas!
My next off track time
Harry Potter movie!
Seeing the Whitings at the end of December!
Spring

Family!!!

2010-11-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Do I get to include my niece and nephews? maybe I will in one lump....

Daddy: The best Daddy a girl could have hoped for. He was very hard working and sacrificed a lot for our family. He loved to tease and joke. His family was very important to him and so was the gospel. I am a lot like him. He was organized to a T and knew just where everything was. He also enjoyed his alone time. He loved sweets and Dr. Pepper.... maybe thats where I get it? He also loved anything horses!!! And even though he is no longer on Earth, I think about him and miss him every single day. I am so grateful for the Daddy he is and was to me and for his amazing example and all he taught me.

Momma: What a lady! She is also very strong and sacrificed a lot for our family. She was always a wonderful mother. She makes wonderful meals, helps you with whatever you need and best of all is great to talk to. She has been through a lot and I really admire her for it. She loves to read and is artistic even though she doesnt seem to think so. She is loving and would do anything for just about any one. She is funny and loves to laugh.

Whitney: My big sis.... I always looked up to her (still do). She was always perfect in my eyes and I wanted to be just like her! She majored in Elementary Education at BYU and taught 2 years before she decided to be a stay at home mom. She is one fantastic mother to three adorable little kiddos (my favorite ones). She is crafty beyond all believe.... I am always amazed at the next crafty thing she makes. She is hilarious and I can always seem to talk to her for hours.

Shane: He always does his own thing no matter what everyone else thinks. I have really admired him for that. He isn't afraid to take a risk. Once he has made up his mind, he does it! He is very smart and informed. He reads a lot and is opinionated, but because he has researched it. He is also pretty sensitive, even though he doesn't want you to know that....He is also the type that would do anything for you the second you asked. He once came and picked me up in the middle of the night when my car died.....

Lon: He has a heart of gold. He is very trusting and loving. He would give you just about anything or do just about anything for you. He often thinks of himself last. He is very friendly and gets along well with just about everyone. I was always ( and still sometimes) known as "Lon's little sister" He is studying to be a physical therapist at the U. He is a big Utes fan but an even bigger Wyoming Cowboys fan.

Things that stress me out

2010-11-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

the unknown
people not listening/ignoring me
car problems
loans........ew.....
driving in the snow
not spending time by myself
not getting enough sleep

Something to keep me busy!

2010-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite blog's to read (Mrs. Emme Boushka) is doing this same thing. I thought it was fun and a good way to keep posts going on my not-so-exciting life.... :) I hope you enjoy!

Day 1- Self portrait picture and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 2- Something that stresses you out
Day 3- Your parents and siblings
Day 4- Something you're looking forward to
Day 5- Pictures of things that make you happy
Day 6- A song that makes you cry (or nearly and why)
Day 7- Favourite movies
Day 8- A place you've travelled to
Day 9- Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 10- Something you're afraid of
Day 11- Favourite tv shows
Day 12- What you believe
Day 13- Goals
Day 14- Some pictures you love
Day 15- Pictures of your dream house

This is kind of an old picture i guess but we went to Texas Roadhouse for my 23rd birthday and they made me sit on the saddle while they sang to me... YAY!
I find it funny that often times people are surprised when they find out I have strong opinions...it has happened one more than one occasion
It still weirds me out to see my name as the official teacher for my kiddos....even though I have been their teacher for close to 4 months.
I love organizing things... though you wouldn't know that by looking at my room...
I hate being cold
I love the fall and everything that comes with it... minus the snow....
I am not athletic in the slightest bit. and if I didn't need to work out to be healthy i probably wouldn't. Not something i enjoy!
i love music! I love finding that songs that fits your life in the moment!
I love sleeping!
I love being with kids, even though they make me exhausted.
I love milk!
I don't have a plan for the rest of my life... I'm flying by the seat of my pants! Who knows where life will take me.
Many many things interest me...but none of them interest me long enough to sustain my attention.... (ADHD???? you tell me)
I'm quiet until you get me talking... I'm not usually one to start a conversation until I know you well.
for some stupid reason i type "my" when i am trying to type "me"... I have done it like three times just in this post.....and when i text sometimes i type "i" instead of "a"

YAY!!!! Look for the next posts in up coming days!

Favorite Things to Teach

2010-10-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

I was asked recently what my favorite thing to teach was. I told the person at the time that I really couldn't decide. The whole reason I went into to teaching in the first place is because I couldn't see one single subject interesting me long enough to keep my attention for longer than a few years. With teaching the subject matter changes all the time. I get a good variety....so What is my favorite??? After teaching PE on Wednesday I decided its my favorite thing to teach! I know most of you are probably thinking WHAT!?!?! Kelsey!? She is the most uncoordinated person I know! She hates sports! and you are absolutely right! I am! and I do! I don't enjoy teaching PE for the athletic value. It's not that I love Physical Education by any stretch of the imagination.... It is purely and simply the entertainment value.

This probably makes me sound like a terrible person....but watching kids try is SSSOOO hysterical!!! (Dually noted that I was probably the kid that my PE teacher was laughing at....) I have my kids warm up every morning we have PE. They line up in the groups and then we do exercises across the gym and back. We skip, jump, gallop, run, crawl, bounce a ball, etc etc. They kids are SO determined they have this look of complete concentration on their face and they do their best to hurry as fast as they can (because everything is a race in fourth grade whether your teacher says it is or not). I wish I were better at describing their awkwardness, yet determination. SSSOOOO funny! Just imagine a kid "crawling" across the floor on his hands and feet....bum in the air... legs and arms swinging wide......HAHAHAHA I just about die laughing every Wednesday morning! If you ever want to come to my classroom... I encourage you to come Wednesday Morning and have PE with us!

My second favorite thing to teach is SCIENCE!!! The kids just drink it up! They ask so many questions and so into it that it is easy to teach! Plus, its so hands on and visual and that is how I learn best! I have always thought science is cool though... it's probably always been my strong point.

My LEAST favorite thing to teach? Writing.... Maybe because I enjoy writing. I am really terrible with grammar and punctuation...but writing is my therapy. I really enjoy it...but its something that is really hard for me to teach. I think I just want to turn their paper into how I want it to sound. and i get frustrated when it doesn't.... I always seem to want them to be more advanced writers than they are. I also want to spend enough time with each of them to help them develop their ideas...but then i don't have enough time to get to everyone! In short...i just get frustrated when trying to teach them to write.

Any way... the life of a teacher! Highly entertaining....yet incredibly frustrating! We do the best we can!

Life as of Late....

2010-09-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

Honestly, the words from that One Republic song, Secrets, come to mind when I think about my life right now.

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess....

I basically do the same thing every day! But ya know... I am completely fine with it! My life right now is good! I couldn't ask for more. I feel very blessed to have a job and be living in such an awesome place as Salt Lake! I truly LOVE it here! It's like Salt Lake was made for me!

I have been a teacher for 9 weeks now! Can you believe it? Cuz I know I can't! I am now officially off track and get to party for the next three weeks! I am starting this fantastic break by flying to see my sister and her family in Tucson! We are leaving Monday morning and driving back to Salt Lake. I'm so excited to get to party with some of my most favorite people!

On to other things...things that have been on my mind lately....(i like to pretend that I have deep thoughts now and again) I have just been thinking about how if you are doing what you are supposed to life just works out!! I moved to Salt Lake a year ago... I had known that I needed/wanted to be here two years before that! Ever since I have gotten here things have totally and completely just worked out! Of course I have worried (thats what I do, I got it from my mother) but it always just comes together. I know it's because I have followed what I know to be right and true. Money wise, Job wise, friend wise, family wise EVERYTHING has been iffy, and scary at one point since I have moved here, but then suddenly and inexplicably things suddenly and completely work out. It has been a really great experience for me, because I am such a planner. I hate the unknown, I hate not knowing where my life was going to go! I came here to do student teaching and then I had NO plans for my life...but like i said, i did what i know is right and things completely fell into place. It has been such a perfect experience to learn to trust my Heavenly Father. I have had to let go of a lot of things, and I have grown so much.

I think I need to take that advice in other, aspects of my life, because I seem to worry and over think things.... As long as I am doing what I am supposed to things will fall into place. Thankfully, for me, they always have eventually....

Things Teachers Won't Tell You

2010-09-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

My roommate Berkley showed me this! and it is perfect! and so true!!! Just wanted to share!

A look inside a teacher's mind could help you understand lesson plans and maybe even guide your child to perform better.

1. If we teach small children, don’t tell us that our jobs are “so cute” and that you wish you could glue and color all day long.

2. I’m not a marriage counselor. At parent-teacher conferences, let’s stick to Dakota’s progress, not how your husband won’t help you around the house.

3. We’re sick of standardized testing and having to “teach to the test.”

4. Kids used to go out and play after school and resolve problems on their own. Now, with computers and TV, they lack the skills to communicate. They don’t know how to get past hurt feelings without telling the teacher and having her fix it.

5. When I hear a loud belch, I remember that a student’s manners are a reflection of his parents’.

6. Your child may be the center of your universe, but I have to share mine with 25 others.

7. Please help us by turning off the texting feature on your child’s phone during school hours.

8. Guys who dribble a ball for a couple of hours a game can make up to $20 million a year. We educate future leaders and make about $51,000 a year.

9. We take on the role of mother, father, psychologist, friend, and adviser every day. Plus, we’re watching for learning disabilities, issues at home, peer pressure, drug abuse, and bullying.

10. Kids dish on your secrets all the time—money, religion, politics, even Dad’s vasectomy.

11. Please, no more mugs, frames, or stuffed animals. A gift card to Starbucks or Staples would be more than enough. A thank-you note: even better.

12. We love snow days and three-day weekends as much as your kid does.

13. The students we remember are happy, respectful, and good-hearted, not necessarily the ones with the highest grades.

Kid Stories

2010-08-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

I really haven't had very many kid stories yet. I have been teaching about four weeks now. I DO have a couple though... So here ya go!

On one of the first days of school we were coloring a few things and a little boy came up to me and said "do I have marker on my face?" and when I turned around to look he had big long strips all over his face! It was so hard not to laugh! I just said yes, please go wash it off. and then laughed as he ran to the bathroom.
During a spelling test one of the kids farted really loud. All the kids just turn to see my reaction. and then i hear a kid say WHOA!!!!! (at least point I'm thinking oh no....he is going to embarrass the other student) Did someone just cough???? HAHA I busted up laughing and so did all the kiddos

There was a really bad storm outside and then a HUGE crash. All my kids started freaking out and yelling and screaming! and then they announced on the intercom that someone with a yellow Cadillac needed to contact the office. THEN all my kids were like COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID IT EXPLODE!?!?! Did the lightning hit it?? it took a good fifteen mins to calm them back down and focus them again

My mom came into my classroom to help. I told them that she is Mrs. Hokanson and I was Miss Hokanson. This made them realize that Miss meant I was not married. Then a student was like why aren't you married?!?!?! and all of the kids were just staring at me waiting to hear my answer. They could not believe that I was not married. I just said something like Where does it say I have to be married right now? I am still young guys! and then the same kid rose his hand and said You should go on one of those.....date things... hahahahahahaha it was so funny cuz he said it like I'm not really sure what that is....but i know you do it to get married....

Kids are so funny.... Sometimes the way their minds work really surprise you!!! The best part of teaching!

Cool temple experience

2010-08-14T11:31:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday was probably my worst teaching day ever! I totally lost my patience and yelled at the kids. They were being so bad! And i was not feeling well at all. So, after yesterday I needed something to calm me down, and recharge my batteries. Beck and I decided to go to the temple when we woke up. We were nervous considering it was Saturday. We thought for sure it was going to be super busy. Luckily enough it was not hardly busy at all. We were in and out in less than an hour.

Any way, I get my turn in the font, the guy baptizes me for five names, just like always, and I am going to get out and one of the witnesses says to me, "The names you just did are from the Ukraine." And I thought "Oh ok.... cool. Random, but cool." but then he finished by saying "They are preparing these names for the Ukraine temple that will be dedicated on the 24th" I thought that was pretty cool that I got to have part in that! Kinda cool that those names will be sent the Ukraine temple and be finished there! Maybe its not so cool as I think it is....but it made me feel a little special! :)

And, on a random side note.... I just want to say how wonderfully awesome and fabulous the temple is. This morning I felt like life was pretty drab and I didn't want to go back to school on Monday, and that i wasn't cut out to be a teacher....and now after the temple I just feel so calm and peaceful and like I could go back to school. I know Heavenly Father loves me so much. I can tell I am doing what I am supposed to because of the way he blesses me. I am so grateful that he has a plan for me, and helps me see I'm on the right track, EVEN THOUGH that track isn't always rainbows and butterflies! :) I love the gospel and the temple!

exhausted....

2010-08-08T15:34:00.000-07:00

Holy cow! Who would have thought that this job would be so tiring!! I come home about 6:30 every day and feel like I could go straight to bed. I am not used to going all day long any more. My kids so far are pretty good. I have a bunch of good good kids and just a couple that about drive me crazy! For the most part school is good though. I love my principal and the people I work with are really great too! I am not sick of the drive yet.... so for now I am still planning on living where I am for a while. I have been so incredibly blessed! I feel stressed and worn out...but for the most part I know that is just temporary. Life is good!!! Heavenly Father blesses me so much!

My classroom!

2010-07-17T14:28:00.001-07:00

I finally got into my classroom on Friday! I was SO so excited! It seems so unreal! When I got in there the first day, the teacher that was there before me was a MESS! and left it all for ME to deal with! What a nice guy huh? So basically all I did on Friday was go through his stuff and decide what I wanted and then throw away everything else. Thankfully the teacher that is right next door to me came and helped. She is SSOO wonderful! I am still definitely feeling overwhelmed. Maybe even more so now... I almost feel like i dont know where to start but still have SSSOO much to do that i need to get on it! Hopefully i get a lot done in the next week! WOO!!!

Job!!!!

2010-07-08T23:12:00.001-07:00

So...in case you haven't heard yet... I GOT A JOB! I will be teaching 4th grade at Bacchus Elementary in Kearns! It is a year round school so I start REALLY soon! It is pretty intense and intimidating! I do pretty well at not panicking until i start thinking about it. I drove out to my school today and saw the class list that was posted. It was SSSOOO weird to see "Miss Hokanson's Fourth Grade Class A-Track" It really makes me think HOLY COW who really trusts me to do this?? I am very excited don't get me wrong...but it is very intimidating! I am a TEACHER!!! WHOA! I spent all this time just wishing I was a teacher already and now that I am it's kind of scary!!! Thankfully I met wonderful teachers at Redwood that have helped me SO SO SO much! Thank goodness! I'm sure you will get plenty of updates about my class and how things are going! Who knows maybe I will start a blog just for my class!

Arizona!!

2010-06-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well....Here's a big hooray for being LAZY! because I still havent posted about Arizona... And I am feeling kinda like a bum. So I am going to give just a brief synopsis of my trip and then post a link to the pictures on facebook. It takes to long to upload pictures on here! HA :)

Arizona was VERY fun! and also VERY hot! I am a big fan of Road trips so of course it was fun for me! :) My mom and I left Utah mid day and decided we wanted to try to make it to the Grand Canyon and see it on our way down.... BUT we decided to go to the Southern Rim...which meant we had to drive all the way around it to get there.... needless to say we didnt make it. So we kept on going to Flagstaff and stayed the night there. From there Tuscon was just a few short hours further the next day. Our time in Arizona basically consisted of playing with my three favorite kiddos and helping my sister get her house situated. Which was still fun! I love ANY time i get to spend with her and her family. While I was there my sister also got me hooked on glee!!!! I LOVE it!!! I stayed up til three one night watching it while i was there!!

We made lots of trips to Lowes for things like blinds, paint, odds and ends to fix up minor things in the house. We also found a rug that my sister fell in love with. While she was debating on getting it my niece ran back and forth under the hanging rugs letting them woosh over her head. When we left she suddenly started saying her head was burning.... She had gotten a rug burn on her head from running under all the rugs! HAHAHA I laughed forever!

We also spent a lot of time painting. We painted her family room and living room and Kitchen. All in all nothing TOO super exciting but WELL worth it! My niece and nephews are SO funny and i love each one of them for their own personalities!!

Grace--She is SSOO smart!! I kept being so surprised because she can read as good as if not better then many of my fourth graders. AND she could do math quickly in her head that my fourth graders couldn't do with paper. My fourth graders are pretty low...BUT Grace is only six years old! She is also a ham. She LOVES getting attention. Which also means she is QUITE the drama queen! I remember one night laughing me head off because she got sent to her room and was screaming things like "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!" "YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME" "I never get what I want!" "I'm never talking or coming out of my room again" I feel bad for my sister and brother-in-law when she is a teenager! Hopefully she calms down a lot by then for their sake!

Scott--another genius child!! He always has this way of making me laugh! He is definitely his own kid! He loves anything transformers and can play with them for hours! Just like me, he can be bribed to do just about anything for fruit snacks and cheez-its! He is cuddly but only when HE wants to be. Whenever we were watching TV or watching a movie he would find some way to snuggle up to me. When i was laying on ground on my stomach he came and laid on my back for the whole movie! He is so adorable! When he gets excited he will just sit in pure amazement. We went to see Toy Story three he was like hopping into the theater and then didnt move at all the WHOLE movie... just like stared wide eyed at the screen the whole time! So funny!

Spencer--He is probably the most chill and happy baby you will ever meet. He LOVES attention and is already a people person! As long as he is where everyone else is (and fed) he is happy! He is so easy to make smile. Some of the faces he pulls and his chubby cheeks always remind us of my dad! I actually looked a lot like him when i was a baby as well. He is a chunk! I LOVE chubby babies!! But my arms would get SO sore after holding him for a while.

Any way.... I have the best niece and nephews ever! They are so adorable and can always make me smile!! When we left Tuscon we were determined to go see the Grand Canyon and actually made it! Woo hoo! It was SO gorgeous! we drove along it for a while and got some awesome views! My camera only lasted for two pictures though.... Bummer!!!

Well.... needless to say My trip to Arizona was awesome!!! and a much needed vacation!

Here is the link to a few pics

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2169325&id=193303103&l=3738481e3d

It's not a DREAM any more!

2010-06-23T10:04:00.001-07:00

I had a job interview today for a first grade position in West Valley. I was SUPER nervous! Thankfully the teachers at Redwood and friend have been prepping me and really helping me out. At the same time they were making me REALLY nervous! So I got to the school and said a little prayer as I walked in. I started telling them about myself and said I grew up in Freedom, Wyoming the principal's jaw dropped and said NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! FREEDOM!?!?!?! I grew up there!!!! It was SSOO random and crazy! We sat and talked for a while! and She knows my grandpa! Hopefully that gets me an in!!!

Any way... the real point of this post is to say how crazy life is!! Having an interview and thinking about being an actual teacher has made me kind of reflect on life over the last fourish years. When I first started college (it seems like two weeks ago...) I thought my dream of being a teacher would never actually happen. I figured I would get married before I actually taught, or I would end up hating it and never actually teach. I don't even know...but for some reason I felt like I would never make it to where I am now! But here I am! I finished student teaching and I'm looking for a job!!! My new favorite song by Paramore says I'd never trade it in cuz I've always wanted this! It's not a dream any more! Its worth fighting for! and thats totally how i feel!! And You know...even if I dont get the job I feel really good about it! I feel like I did my best in the interview and I know that Heavenly Father is taking care of me! If I don't make it in there, He needs me somewhere else! If I do make in there, HOORAY for the blessings he gives me!

PS Watch for my next update! I have pics and stories from Arizona I just havent taken the time to upload the pictures and write it... So it's on the way!

Summer

2010-06-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

My summer has officially started! But the strange thing is that I am already bored.... Student teaching and working at Redwood kept me SO busy... I never had much time to myself. I have gotten used to being that way. And actually enjoyed it. I really like staying busy! I would plan every second of my day until bed time. And now..... I have ALL day to do whatever I want. There's no one even in my apt!! It's really weird. It actually making me really anxious because I am so used to being busy. I just feel like i should be doing something all the time! It's weird for me to just sit. Not to mention my other halves are gone. Weird.... Its funny/sad how you just get used to things and kind of end up taking them for granted.

BUT I am headed to Arizona TOMORROW!!! and I am so excited! :) I get about a week and a half to hang out with some of my favorite people in the whole world! I think it will be good for me to spend a little time away from Salt Lake and get out of my apt. I love Salt Lake...but I need a vacation! I am excited to get out of town but I'm sure i will be excited to get back as well! Yay!

What's New in My Life?

2010-06-02T20:50:00.001-07:00

I don't even really know what this post is going to be about... But I am in a blogging mood.

What's new in my life? Not a whole lot.... Still no job for next Fall... I have applied to Alpine, Canyons, Salt Lake, Granite, Davis, Jordan, and still planning on applying for Ogden and Murray... That is a TON of jobs that I have applied for... No calls for interviews yet, but many said they haven't started interviewing yet.

I have decided I am not going to work this summer... Which could be good or bad... I haven't decided yet. I have enough money hopefully... I am going to go to see my sister in Arizona for almost two weeks! that should give me more to blog about! I have also decided to stay in my apt for the summer. All by myself!!! But my Landlord was VERY nice and let me stay in my apt for JUST what i am paying! Thank goodness!!! I won't have to move all my stuff just yet. Well.... that is all I can think of.... in other words my life is kinda lame right now.... HA :)

Oh the memories!

2010-05-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

I had a really funny memory of my dad today!! It's kinda a long story that may not be funny to any one but my family....but it definitely made me laugh and remember how wonderful my papa was.

So, we have the joke in our family....I dont know if i have it quite right...but something along the lines of there was a button in the truck that said "cargo light" and someone asked what the button did...and my dad said "OH! when you push it the car go light and when you push it again the car go heavy" HAHA ok....maybe its not that funny....BUT today I was helping with the CRT's at my school and one of the questions said something like "What does cargo mean?" Which reminded me of the story...but then they best part was one of the answers was tires! HA and thats the one the student chose! I bet my dad was whispering in their ear! HAHAHA I had a really hard time not laughing!! haha funny....at least to me.... My dad was a funny guy like that!

On my mind....

2010-05-04T16:20:00.001-07:00

I feel like this life is full of turning points, points in that you have to make a choice to either turn TO Heavenly Father or turn away from him. Really, I guess what is what life is all about. It's something I have been thinking a lot about since my dad died. I very easily could have chosen to turn away from Heavenly Father, used this as an excuse to blame Him and say it's all His fault. Had I done that, I would still be absolutely miserable. And would be for a long time to come. Thankfully, I knew where to turn. I knew who to trust. Not to say dealing with death is not hard, but knowing what I know, and having the gospel background made it so much easier. Even though I feel some of the deepest pain and sorrow (even a month later), I am also able to feel some of the deepest joys and happiness. Whenever I get sad and miss my dad I think about where he is and what he is doing now! It's amazing to think about. He is healthy now, and happy! He is doing the Lords work! My te stimony of the atonement has grown to new heights. Our Savior died not just to allow us to repent, but to heal us. And to help us in ways that I am sure I probably don't even realize yet. Before all of this I thought I knew that Heavenly Father loved us. During this turning point in my life I have never felt his love SSSOOOO strong. It is probably the most humbling thing to realize someone loves you that much. Even (maybe especially) when you feel like you don't deserve it. And to think that is just a tiny glimpse of his love for us. It is also humbling to have hundreds of people care so much about you and pray for you. I have really grown through this experience. It's funny to me how, if you let it, one trial can teach you MANY MANY things. Almost as many things as you let it! If you don't let it teach you, it can ruin you.

To my twinner

2010-04-28T21:59:00.000-07:00

So, my wonderful amazing twinner Kelcie has decided to move home for the summer. And she is leaving on FRIDAY! this is our last little bit together until next fall!!! It is so weird to think about!!! She has kind of been my security blanket in Salt Lake! We always kinda played off each other and became known as the Kelsey's. I probably would not be where I am today with out her! I guess it is time for me to be a big girl and do life on my own! It will be pretty weird not having her here. So Kels, heres to our many wonderful days and nights living the dream in Salt Lake! It may be a long summer without you! but it will make Fall just that much better! Life changes SSOOO quickly!

2010-04-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Who's a giant grumpy pants raise your hand!!!!

OOO OOOO ME ME PICK ME!!!

patience--whats that?

kindness--out the window

happy and cheerful--only in short spurts throughout the day

tolerance--good joke!

I don't know what my deal is but I am just not a people person today. Like everyone and everything is getting on my nerves. I need an attitude adjustment. I want to be alone but then when I am alone I hate it and just want to be with people. I am bi polar or something.

Obligation?

2010-04-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

I have come to feel some what obligated to update my blog. I mean really....it hasnt been too long since I last updated it...but i just had this like nagging feeling.... you have a blog you need to update it. Not to mention the fact that whenever I get on to see if someone has updated their blog, I am always disappointed if no one has updated. Therefore, a feeling of obligation.

So, nothing is really new.... I can't decide if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Most of the time I am feeling ok about my Dad. Of course I miss him like crazy. I still have my moments that are really hard, but I have been very blessed with the gospel and a knowledge of my Heavenly Fathers plan. It definitely makes the hard times easier to deal with.

Life has kind of become a routine for me. But strangely I am kind of ok with it. I go to work, I come home, I go to bed, I get up and go to work. No cute boys to think about.... The thing i look forward to the most is sleeping in on Saturday. But (maybe sadly) I am content with life for the most part. I feel like I am where I am supposed to be doing what i am supposed to be doing. What more can you ask for right?

Right now I am crossing my fingers that I will get a teaching contract at my school. It seems pretty up in the air still. I REALLY love my school. I love the kids, the other teachers, the people I work with, everything! I feel like I need to be there. And i guess if i do need to be there it will work out so that I am. I also need to find a job for the summer. I have NO idea what I am going to do yet. I have applied a few places and am just crossing my fingers. I thought about teaching summer school, but I dont think i will make enough money.

I get to babysit my 3 favorite kiddos in the whole world tomorrow!!! My brother in laws sister is getting married, so i get to watch my niece and nephews while they are in the temple. In a way it is convenient. but sometimes i wonder if it will ever be me IN the temple instead of being the one outside watching the kids. Going to weddings always makes me want to get married....and then i really think about it and i realize I am not ready to get married, no matter how bad i may want to get married! Haha....maybe someday....

Any way...enough randomness for now....until next time.

Depends on the Day

2010-04-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

So...my car randomly decided to FREAK out today... I was driving along and i KNOW for a FACT my gas thing said i had half a tank but all of the sudden it started dinging at me because it said I had low fuel. AND the temperature gage decided to freak as well and switched back and forth between all the way cold to right in the middle. it would switch about every five seconds. So I got to my friends house and parked and just prayed it would be ok. I asked a few people what i should do and none of them really had a definitive answer. So when I left to come home I just hoped it would be ok. and it was. BUT the whole scary nerve racking event really really really really made me miss my Daddy. He was always the first one I would call about anything to do with my car. He knew the answers to all my problems. I wanted to call him. My first thought was to call him..... and oddly enough (its probably psychological) I didn't get an answer from any one else. No one else could give me the answer i needed or wanted because it wasn't from my dad. Most of the time I do ok in dealing with my dad's passing....but it is moments like this that i REALLY miss him.

A Daddy...

2010-04-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night so i just started writing down memories of my dad and I. It may not make a lot of sense because i just wrote and it was late...but here you go. Each part is a memory I have of my dad.

A Daddy...

A daddy's love is unexplainable
When he first holds you, he already loves you.
He is already proud of you.
He is already worried about you and wants what's best for you.

A daddy is the one that checks under the bed for monsters.
He makes sure that you will always be safe.
He teaches you things he doesn't even realize he is teaching you...
Like smacking your lips after you take a big drink.

A daddy gives you earthquakes
Even if you say it bugs you, it really doesn't
He tickles you until you can't breath
Just so he can see you smile and hear you laugh

A daddy teaches you how to hammer a nail.
He says "You did great!" even if he fixes it later.
He teaches you how to fish.
He lets you reel in the fish he caught, and lets you claim it as your own. (even if it is the biggest catch of the day)

A daddy comes to all your little plays and performances.
He knows how much it means to you.
He's the one behind the camera taking pictures of everything.
It's kind of embarrassing, but you'll thank him later.

A daddy is the one you call when you wreck the car.
It takes you a few minutes to get the guts to call him.
You think he is going to be mad,
but all that is important to him is that you are ok.

A daddy teaches you how to drive his beat up stick shift truck.
Even though he can't talk and is still sore from surgery.
Even though he got an earthquake of his own!
He does it just because you randomly decided you wanted to learn.

A daddy comes to your college graduation,
even though its hard for him to sit that long.
Just from the look in his eyes, you know he has never been more proud of you.
He doesn't need to say it. You already know.

A daddy may get upset with you.
It's not because he doesn't love you.
In fact, its because he DOES love you.
You may not like to admit it, but you learn from it and love him for it.

He may make you crazy.
You will probably think he is trying to ruin your life.
But a daddy wants what's best for you.
A daddy loves you more than you may ever realize.

A daddy is your hero.

My Daddy

2010-03-31T13:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you that do not know yet, my Dad passed away yesterday. It has been a very hard reality to face, but we are making it through. He went much quicker than we anticipated but, it is SO much better for his sake. I know for a fact that he is in a much better place. He is happy and healthy and doing so much to help up in heaven. He is no longer in pain and no longer suffering, which was probably the hardest part for me to see. It was almost a exactly a year after he was diagnosed with cancer that he died. I wrote in my journal March 22 2009 that he was officially diagnosed the Friday before. Thank you all so much for your love, support, concern, thoughts, prayers, generosity etc etc etc the list could go on. Here is a really good quote I found the day before he passed away.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt

Festival of Colors

2010-03-28T12:29:00.001-07:00

The after math...on the way home from the shuttle

Full body shot

Beck and I taking an action shot

The Hindu Temple

Before shot

Kelcie Becky and I went to the Festival of Colors at a Hindu temple in Spanish Fork yesterday. It was SO much fun! We bought bags of chalk and just walked around and threw chalk at each other and other people. We had it every where. When we blew our noses we had purple boogers....our teeth were purple and when we spit you had black spit. At one point everyone flung up the chalk and created a giant cloud. It was impossible to breathe and I was gagging on all the chalk that was in my mouth. It was so fun though! here are some pictures to document our adventure.

Utah Driver

2010-03-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

I finally have my car registered.... I have a Utah drivers license, Utah license plates, Utah insurance.... I am officially a Utah driver.... I dont know how I feel about it. After all the work, pain, stress, and agony in getting the car thing situated it is MOSTLY taken care of. I did find out that my serpentine belt is badly cracked....So I will probably end up replacing that soon. Dang cars....

My certification stuff is STILL a giant pain in my butt...and I cant apply for jobs til i have my cert stuff done. I am INCHES away from having it all but i had to pay $40 to get a hard copy of my Praxis scores.....ouch....

The teachers and principal were talking about the FTE today at school. It makes me pretty nervous. Everyone tells me they all love me at my school but it makes me nervous about getting a job. FTE is basically the projected number of student in each grade for the next school year. and based on the number of students that is how they know how many teachers they can hire for the next school year. Well thats pretty much all that is going on in my super crazy life....

Home Bitter Sweet Home.

2010-03-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

I have never been good with words. It is WAY easier for me to say what I am thinking in writing.... So here goes nothing....

I came home this weekend. It has been almost a month since I have been home so I was REALLY excited to get back. I felt like I really needed to be here and couldn't wait to see my parents. Its just frustrating to me because now that I am here it is REALLY hard... I can't decide where I should be. When I am in Salt Lake I just want to be back here....when I am here I just want to be back in Salt Lake. I think in a way its easier to be in Salt Lake....but not for good reasons.

I think I decided today that I am not really sad that he is going to die. Because of the gospel background that I have I am almost comforted in the fact. It is just SSSOOO hard to see him SO miserable. He is just slowly but surely dying. and suffering the whole way. I think that is the most upsetting part. Especially knowing that there is nothing I can do to fix it. I just have to sit any watch.

I have definitely learned that i was NEVER EVER meant to be a doctor. I have been helping take care of him since I have been here and it is really hard for me. I have a SUPER weak stomach. I feel bad. I feel like I should be here to take better care of him. Thankfully my grandma stays here pretty much 24/7. It is a huge comfort for all of us to know she is taking care of him. Not to mention she is the only one that does things just the way he likes it.

The questions i hate the most right now are:

How are you?(not the normal kind but the oh....poor pathetic you....your dad is dying-sad-look-on-their-face kind)
How's your dad?
How was your weekend at home?
What can I do for you?

At least from people that I don't know very well. Do you really need to ask? How do you think I am? he is? it was? not mention.....its not like i really want to talk about it at least not with them...... Probably the best thing you can do for me right now is to ask or talk to me about ANYTHING else. I think about it enough without everyone asking me all the time.

Here are the answers

I'm not too great
Hes not good, hes really sick and miserable
It was harder than I would even like to admit
You don't have magical healing powers so nothing.

bah hum bug...

2010-03-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

I am a giant grump....ALL the time....
Anything sets me off. I am NOT like that.
I can't sort through the thoughts in my head.
I hate starting to cry because it takes me literally hours to stop.
The gospel my family and my friends are the only things that keeping me going.
Thank goodness I know what I know and have the gospel. (even with it I am a basket case)
I don't really sleep any more.....
For some reason I can't seem to face reality.

OH Geez.... ROUND TWO

2010-03-11T17:54:00.000-08:00

So.... the windshield guy was supposed to come on Wednesday and fix my windshield... He told me to call him when I went to lunch and he would come to my work and fix it. So, I call him a little bit before lunch....no answer..... During lunch.....THREE TIMES......NO answer.... After school.....NO ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I left him a message the first and last times....first one pleasant and hopeful. Last one grumpy and annoyed.....

SO, I decide to give it another try....maybe he forgot right? So I call again today....It rang a normal number of times and then voicemail. I called back a little later... ring ring voicemail. He ignored my call. This time I am all worked up again and So I leave him a nasty message. I said something like

" This is a JOKE! I tried to be nice the first time about you not fixing my windshield but now you are just ignoring my calls and will NOT call me back! I hope you feel good about doing a crappy job and just leaving it! Call me back or I will do something about it" (It sounded threatening in my head.....)

About half hour later I got a text from a number I didn't know. It said " I am not blowing you off I have been in the hospital the last two days. I will call in the morning."

That's what i get for running my big mouth.....proof that getting mad never does any good.....

OH GEEZ!!!!!!!!

Oh Geez......

2010-03-09T19:41:00.000-08:00

It has been one of those days......

School was good! I was in a good mood! I was excited to go shopping with Kels and then go to Brad and Jeff's basketball game.... I came out of school and it was POURING rain. Usually i LOVE LOVE LOVE the rain! but i ran to my car and got in. I started it and then looked over to see a steady stream of water pouring into my car. New windshield + pouring rain = FAIL
Kels and I did the best we could to dry it off and tape it up and it doesnt seem to be leaking any more.... I called the windshield guy and was real grumpy with him. He felt really bad and was really nice about it so then i felt guilty about it.

So, i calmed down, we went shopping and then to the basketball game and then we decided to stop at the movie theater because they called me and said they found my ipod. It turned into a HUGE ordeal.... The manager was like well we found this ipod on Saturday and you were here weeks ago... your story doesnt match. How do I know its your ipod...(after i described it PERFECTLY to him.) I wasn't very nice... i was like well Apparently they just didnt find it until Saturday and your employees aren't doing their job properly!!! He said "I'm sure thats not the case" Eventually he pulled the ipod out of his pocket and I was like THAT is my ipod! and he was like well we just need to protect out customers... I tried to call you but your number didn't work. So, how do I know. and he showed me the number he called and it had 801-569-3080....so i told him that i told them it was 208 NOT 801 but they wrote it down wrong. He was still arguing with Kelcie and I and I was SO frustrated i was just like Well I dont care I have my ipod GOOD BYE!!! and he was like wait i need your number. I hope no one else comes in and asks for a white ipod with a blue case....I was like You have my number! its on your freaking paper! FOR THE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! and walked out

We are probably two minutes down the road and my phone rings. I KNEW it was the theater.... so I answered and it was some poor teenage boy that had to suffer my wrath.... The boy said "Yeah....they answered....what am i supposed to say? Oh uh.... did you loose a white i pod with a blue case?" I was like YES AND I TOLD YOU THIS IS MY NUMBER I AM NOT A FREAKING LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor kid.... I feel so guilty when i get mad...after the fact.... I was just so frustrated!!!! I just have all these frustrating things FLYING at me and theres nothing i can do about it! I just feel so on edge lately. I guess my life is pretty stressful right now...but I dont feel like that is a good or fair excuse.... Poor people that just happen to tick me off right at the wrong time.... Hopefully i make it through this with out killing any one.... or with out dying from stress.....

Growing Pains

2010-03-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

So....hurray for me I bought my parents car from them. Little did I know the GIANT pain the butt it was going to be. My dad decided getting a loan from Idaho was a good idea..... Can I just tell you how hard it is to try and communicate with someone 300 miles away that will only talk to you Monday through Friday on the phone..... I don't even know when I am supposed to make my loan payment.... He still hasn't put the title in my name, so I can't even get my car registered.... I had a long weekend so I was hoping to get it all done this weekend but of course not! That would just be smart and convenient.

News flash: In my life smart and convenient things don't happen.

Having a car is SO much work. AND so much money. I had to get the windshield fixed, car inspections, car insurance, change my drivers license and THEN I can attempt to register my car. The stupid snow made it so that I couldn't get my windshield fixed until the afternoon, so I didn't get anything else done yesterday. There is so much more that I should have gotten done. I tried to call the insurance people today to get some quotes but there was only one open today and lucky me..... the insurance payment would be more than my car payment.....

Not to mention I have been getting letters from my student loans saying that i have to start repaying my loans at the end of June....which i also just found out that i have to find a new job for the summer..... So...in other words I have to start paying my loans back when my current job ends..... Stressful?

ya think? I really am feeling the PAINS of growing up. Can't I just mooch of my parents forever? Oh yeah...thats right.... my parents have nothing TO mooch because they have hospital bills up to their eyeballs......

Man alive I am grouchy mc-grouchpot today. debbie downer..... I need to do something to cheer me up.

Avoiding confrontation

2010-03-01T20:25:00.001-08:00

Ever since I found out about my dad, I haven't really given myself time to think about my dad. I have really avoided coming face to face with whats going on. I have been busy enough that I have been totally able to do it. Now that I am back in fourth grade being an aide my life has drastically slowed down. I am still trying to avoid thinking about what's going on but its not working as well. And really....my method is not very effective because it just makes it so that I don't sleep at night...because I try and think of anything and everything else all night long so that I don't have time to register that he is dying. I don't know if I should admit this in public...but I had a really hard time going home just because it meant facing what I have been trying to avoid. Not to mention the fact that avoiding thinking and registering the fact in my brain is not helping because I need to spend as much time with my dad as I can. I feel like I really just need to take a day to myself and be alone...but at the same time I don't want to be alone. It's annoying because I don't want to stay at home so I go out to church activities and the whole time I am just thinking about how much I just want to leave....I was kind of excited for FHE tonight and then once I got there I was just in a bad mood and wanted to leave..... I feel kind of bipolar right now....or at least that I can't make up my mind.....

100 Things You Should Know About Me.

2010-02-25T17:44:00.001-08:00

I am really bored.... and putting things off.... so what do I do? A stupid survey.... Enjoy!

100 Things You Should Know About Me

Ever been arrested? Nope....never plan on it either. :)

Most hated chore on the household chore list? Laundry

Tell me about your first road trip in your first car. Road trippin it down to Utah to go to a Secondhand Serenade concert with Salena and my brother.

In life who has had the most influence on you? depends.... my mom, my sister, my close friends.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Having a Bachelors at 22

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be
remembered for after your death? um..... my happiness? I need more time to think about it....

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I'm so proud of you!

Do you have any phobias? Mice, snakes, spiders...bugs in general I suppose. Small crawly things....

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? high wire or the trapeze

If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why? I wouldn't.... Beer is gross.

If you were a kitchen appliance – what would you be and please make the sound of that appliance? a toaster....chooo (like when your toast pops up)

Tell me about a family member you are really proud of. My brother Shane. I admire how he makes up his own mind. He doesnt let people tell him what to do. Even though he made some goof ups he accepts his decision and tries to make the best of it. Right now he is working really hard for what he wants.

Do you have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of

If you had to, what relative would you lock up in the shed and why? There are a few cousins i wouldn't mind shoving in a shed for a while... I won't name names though....

What did you enjoy about school? I liked being at school and learning all of that stuff in class. I just hated the homework.

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid. Not having to make important decisions.....

Who was your enemy or the bully when you were young? Brittany Bohner. She always said i had chubby cheeks and ears that stick out too far. Which is true....but I didn't like hearing it... hahaha

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I kinda remember wanting to a nurse.

When and with whom was your first kiss? N/A

What extremely difficult life situation have you overcome and how did you do it? When I was younger I moved around a lot. It was really hard on me because I was so shy. I hated having to make new friends all over again. I just had to face my fears and make an effort to make new friends.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? uh.... i dont know if i can think of particular event.... there are too many...

Was there ever a time when you were frightened for your life? Yes. Can anyone say No to this question?

Which is the best vacation you’ve ever had? SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!! SSSSSOOOOOOO fun!!! I wanna go back! I think it was mostly the company and the fact that we went on our own.

Which is the most funniest prank played on you or played by you? I am not a big pranker... Our FHE brother stole our burner nobs on the oven so that we couldnt turn on our stove for like a day and then they returned them frozen in a bowl of water.

What is the craziest thing you have ever done? i can't think of anything..... :(

List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: I wish I was more outgoing.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? depends on what i needed help with. My brothers, My parents, my sisiter, Kelcie, Katelyn, Salena

If you could choose, how would you want to die? quickly

If you could change the world what would you do? Let everyone know how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care about and love them. If everyone understood that I think it would fix a lot of problems in this world....

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult. Doing what I want when I want. IE eating ice cream for dinner, staying up late, going where ever i want....

Which would you rather have, $50,000 or true love? true love

What do you value most in life? My believes, my family and friends.

If you were one of two people left on this earth, and the other was of the same sex; would you go gay? HECK NO!!!!!!!!

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? To an extent. I think that we can learn something important from everything that happens. Everything that happens helps us learn.

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? I dont know about MOST important...but moving to Utah has been very important.

What would be your dream job? In a way I have my dream job.... i just want to get paid more to do it. I love being a permanent sub/ teachers aide. Working with small groups of children and teaching where i dont have to plan or deal with the politics and side crap of teaching.

Have you ever lived or worked out of the country? nope

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? I could work at the same job i have now and get paid at least a normal teachers salary, my dad would be cured of his cancer, i could be more patient.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? uh.... its weird to think about changing your name. I think Nora or Lily is cute...

Name three exotic countries you would like to visit. exotic? Well i really want to go pretty much any where in Africa! is that exotic?

When you die - what part of your personality do you want to be remembered for? Didn't i already answer this question?

If you could add a single option to your car, what would you add? Sun roof?

If you could start your own restaurant, what would it be? a Pizza place

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Have a family, be a mom and a wife

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Spend time with my family and friends. talking laughing reminiscing

If you could go on a road trip with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go? Pretty much any one willing to go! I love road trips!

What is the craziest thing you have ever done? i couldn't think of anything.... remember?

Tell me about your first road trip in your first car....i already did......

What crazy fads were popular when you were a teenager? in middle school it was they white eye-liner/eye shadow..... low rise jeans... i dunno it wasnt that long ago....

The worst part? or maybe the best?

2010-02-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

I think the worst part about finding out about my dad is that I kinda knew it was coming.

Almost exactly this time last year my Grandma Asplund was not doing very well. I decided that with the stress of school, dumping my boyfriend, and loosing my grandma I decided to get a blessing. My really good friend Austin gave it to me. He knew me really well and I had talked to him a lot about all of it.

I still VIVIDLY remember sitting in his living room and him giving me the blessing. In the blessing he said "This is a hard time in your life. The trials in your life now are preparing you for trials in the future." At the time I thought "oh crap whats that supposed to mean?" Probably a month or so later I found out that my dad had Oral cancer. I automatically remembered that line in the blessing. Over time it kinda faded to the back of my brain....but now here it is....So far to the front of my brain its pretty much all I think about.... In fact that line just kind of runs over and over and over in my brain.... My grandmas death was preparing me for my Dads. Maybe since I had more warning with my dad I can prepare myself? So maybe its good? We'll see.....

To my Daddy....

2010-02-18T17:29:00.000-08:00

I got this email from my Dad.

The doc said today that my cancer is incurable. I have 4 to 6 months to live. Chemo might give me 18 months but they would be sick nasty months. I said, just let me die. They will be sending in Hopis to keep me pain free and to let me die in piece. I am excited to finally feel an end to all this ....

I only cry when I think about what it means. My sister put it perfectly when she said " I just have to hold tight to what I know so I don't drown in what I feel. "

Besties

2010-02-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

This is my blog dedicated to the one and only Katelyn. This girl is one of my favorite people on this entire planet. As cheesy as it is, she completes me. She can make me laugh like NO one else can! She thinks I am funny! Which is enough to make me like you right there.... For some reason, things that I have a hard time telling anyone else just come flying out of my mouth as if it were every day conversation. The best part is, we don't have to talk on the phone every day, we don't have to know EVERY detail of each others life but we are still best of friends. When we get together its like we have never been apart. We honestly couldn't be more opposite. We have both said that unless we were roommates we probably wouldn't even be friends. I really think it was meant to be, because we have become such good good friends. No one understands me like she does. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs a friend like Katelyn is to me!

Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes?

2010-02-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I am blogging a lot because I have a lot on my mind or if its because I am bored out of my mind. Maybe a mixture of both.

I am just feeling frustrated.... and helpless..... All I can do is tell my parents I am sorry and I wish I could help more. Its more frustrating because it says in my patriarchal blessing specifically that I need to help my parents in their times of need. This is an obvious time of need, but I dont feel like I am helping much. All I can do is let them know that I love them and that I am here for them. It doesn't seem like enough. I wish there was more. Unfortunately there is not.

I don't claim to know a whole lot about life. In fact I am sure I still have a TON left to learn about it. I dont mean to sound as if I am doubting....but I am genuinely curious as to the reason that this is happening. I think that things happen for a reason, or at least there is always something that you can learn from what happens. So, what am I supposed to learn from this? I am a learning it? or am I way off. What are my parents supposed to learn? How can I help them learn it? Or can I? I guess my biggest question for the Lord is How can I help more? What can I do to make the best of the situation, specifically for the people around me. As I said in posts before, I am not worried about me. I am worried about everyone else feeling worried, and feeling pain, frustration, scared, stress etc etc etc. Any way....thats just whats on my mind for the time being.....

Strength in a Moment of Weakness

2010-02-04T19:46:00.001-08:00

An update on my dad.... They are fairly certain that his cancer has spread into his lungs. At first they didn't think that he had any more cancer in his face and neck, but now they are thinking the sore on his chin is cancer as well. If it is indeed cancer like they suspect, my dad will start chemo treatments very soon. Also, he will have to have a reconstructive surgery where they will take skin from his leg and put it on his neck in hopes that his neck will heal up better. He is hanging in there. He is a trooper. He has a giant bandage on his chin all the time. He never really feels good and sleeps a lot.

My mom.... is a basket case. She has never been the calmest lady ever. She tends to stress out ten times worse than any normal person. As if she wasnt stressed enough, her car engine blew up. So, now, she has one more thing to stress about. She hates her job, but has to have some kind of income because my dad can't work. and her job also provides my dads insurance. Because of my poor stressed parents I decided they needed a little extra support. I took the first of the week off because I was sick, and then decided to start my trip to Idaho a few days early. Needless to say, the environment in my house is not exactly a cheerful, happy one.

Through all of the stress and chaos and sadness I am SO grateful for a gospel that allows me to feel peace. I have absolutely no doubt what-so-ever that my Heavenly Father loves me. If anything I have felt it more now than EVER. Through many different ways. I can't tell you the countless number of people that I can tell care so much about me. That alone tells me that Heavenly Father loves me. He knows just who can help me right now. I know that the people in my life are there for a reason. I have been able to see how much they care about me and that what is important to me is important to them. It means SSOOO much to me. I have gotten a priesthood blessing that brought me SO much peace as well. I am not scared about me. I am not doubting the Lord at all. I know that he has a plan for me and i KNOW for a fact that he is taking care of me.

I am scared for my mom and dad. I just pray and hope that they know what I know. I hope that they can feel the peace that I feel from my Heavenly Father. I just wish that I could make it better. I don't want my dad to feel sick any more. I know they are stressed beyond all reason. I wish there was more I could do to help them. The hardest part is just having to sit back and watch.

Any way.... Thank you so much all of you for all of your support. I appreciate just knowing that you are thinking about me, and care about me.

urbandictionary.com

2010-02-02T20:23:00.000-08:00

My brother posted this thing on facebook that said to look up your name on Urban dictionary.com and type in your name. So, I did and this was the first entry. I dont know what you guys think but I think its a surprisingly accurate description of me... but there you go.... just for fun.

A very smart, sweet girl with lots of things on her mind. She may seem distracted a lot and that's because she is most of the time. Very creative and sometimes shy, she always has to have music on. silence is her only weakness. She doesn't think she's attractive but in reality she's the most gorgeous thing you'll ever meet. often spaces out when near windows. always contemplating something. sugar junkie. very pale and doesn't care. easy to get along with. everyone loves her. stands up for her friends and would never hurt anyone intentionally. cares too much. picks the wrong crowd. not easily influenced. has soo much planned for her. remember her, she'll be widely known soon. if you fall in love with a kelsey don't ever let her go. she likes playfighting. looks like the nost innocent person alive but can be the sexiest, kinky little thing if you get her to that stage. likes being pushed to do better. always looking after those around her.

Temples!

2010-02-01T10:57:00.000-08:00

So, ever since I have moved to Salt Lake, Kelcie and I have really tried to go to the temple as often as we can. When Becky joined us we decided to start fulfilling our goal of going to all the temples in the Valley. So far we have been to Salt Lake, Draper and Jordan River. Still on the list are Manti, Logan, Bountiful, and a few others i think.... We also decided that we want to take pictures at each of the temples we go to...but so far we only got pictures at the Draper Temple... The Jordan River's gates were closed. And we decided to get Salt Lake on another day. But here are some of our sweet pictures we got at the Draper Temple

We tried to get a cool jumping picture.....well we aren't jumping but I think this is a freaking sweet picture!!!
All of us with our amazing photographers... :)
Yay Draper Temple!!! VERY beautiful!

Love ya Daddy

2010-01-30T11:25:00.000-08:00

It is a possibility that my Dads cancer has come back. I feel so bad.... there is absolutely nothing I can do. There's not much anyone can do.....this song portrays my feelings pretty perfectly right now... If you have the time listen to the song on you tube or something... POWERFUL! love it! I am just going to do parts of the song....

I can tell I can tell
How much you hate this
Deep down inside
You know it's killing me
I can call, wish you well
And try to change this
But nothing i can say Would change anything

I wish i could save you
I wish i could say to you
I'm not going nowhere
I wish i could say to you
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright

There were times i'd wonder
Could i have eased your pain
Why did i turn away

We can pretend nothings changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there will be no pain
Tonight...

processing problems....

2010-01-25T22:53:00.000-08:00

So.... do you think that there is a specific section in your brain that controls how you act around the opposite sex? Cuz if so, mine is retarded.

Admittedly I am about 90 million times better than I used be...but still....just not functioning properly.

For some stupid reason, I can flirt and work it with any guy that I am not attracted to. Then as soon as I am attracted its like my brain just stops.... it has processing problems...It's not even like I think of dumb things.... it just altogether stops. Any and all complete thoughts are gone when I am around a boy that I like. And it gets worse the more I like them. If my brain worked properly it would be the other way around...

Maybe someday I will figure out this boy thing...

PANIC x12

2010-01-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

So Tuesday was a normal day.... a day like any other... or so it seemed. I ended up subbing for an hour in a kindergarten class at the end of the day. I walked them out and when I was headed back in, the principal was standing right there. She said I need to talk to you. Are you leaving? I just told her I had to lock up the teachers class and I would be right there. I was worried because I thought maybe I was in trouble. I get into her office and she asked me if I would like to sub long term for a teacher that is pregnant. Of course I was MORE than willing. I knew it would be a great experience and I could get in good with the principal. So, she tells me that I will start on Monday and I will just shadow her until she has the baby. Even better! I could get used to how she runs her class and get used to her kids and therefore make a smoother transition. The Lord always has other plans.

I had good intentions ever since I found out about the subbing to go talk to the teacher. BUT I found out on Tuesday and had to leave right after. Then Wednesday I was trying to get stuff for my after school classes that I am teaching ready, so I didn't get to talk to her then either. My plan was to talk to her today after school. When I stopped by her classroom the door was locked and the lights were off. Then a teacher walking by said So... are you taking over for her tomorrow? and I was like oh no, i don't start until Monday. and then she said oh.... didnt you hear? She went into labor.

Yes... you read right... She went into labor. Three. Weeks. Early.

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesn't have sub plans ready for the next three weeks! Which is bad enough.... on top of that the teachers told me that she had a sub planned already but my principal said Nope... i want Kelsey to do it. So she is pretty much trying me out to see if she wants to hire me for next year. the Pressure is on... I am scared to death... but im diving in head first!

Farewell to 2009....

2009-12-31T18:36:00.000-08:00

Well the survey I took yesterday kinda sorta summed up my year.. in a way... but i wanted to do one more special farewell to 2009.

This year......I really dont have words to describe.... it started off to be what seemed like the WORST year of my life. I have a previous post that describes this point in my life pretty well. I broke up with my first boyfriend, I was beyond stressed with school and feeling SUPER intimidated about continuing on to do my student teaching, my grandma passed away (I took it much worse then I thought I would. I went a week that I cried at least once a day... and good HARD cry), and to top it all off my Dad was diagnosed with Oral Cancer.

By April of this year I thought my life was in shambles and I was pretty much miserable. I decided to take a job at the Day Care that i worked at the summer before (I hated it then... I think i was determined to make myself miserable) But it ended up being on of the best things i could have done. I LOVED working there. There were a bunch of new girls mostly my age and we all got pretty close! I actually enjoyed going to work because it was the only time in my life that i could forget about my worries and focus on something else.

All in all I really did have an awesome summer! Katelyn and I made a big trip to Seattle. I want to go back SSSOOO bad!!!! I also drove back to Milwaukee with my sister and her two kids. Three full days in a van packed full with a 5 year old a 2 year old and a pregnant lady.... Doesnt sound like much fun but believe me it WAS!! I will NEVER forget some of the memories we made on that trip!

Since the beginning of this year i knew, more than anything, i just really needed a BIG change in my life. I hated Idaho.( I still do) I had a lot of bad memories there. A lot of things that kind of haunted me if i was going to stay there. I knew that my life in Idaho wasn't going to go any where. I felt like I wouldnt get any where near the goals i wanted to accomplish if i stayed there.

In August I packed up all my junk and moved to Utah. I can HONESTLY say it is the BEST decision I have ever made! I had felt like I needed to be in Salt Lake ever since my friend got married here over a year before. I still don't really know why I need to be here but I know its what I need. I love it here! I love all the fun stuff there is to do, the friends i have made, the ward I am in and most of all the growth i have made as a person.

Also...something important to mention is my GRADUATION!!! I walked in Graduation in July so that I didnt have to go back to Rexburg when I was done. BUT i am now an official college grad!!! official official! Like my degree is posted by BYU-I and everything! My name was in the program this time! (It wasnt when i walked cuz i hadnt finished my student teaching)

2009... what seemed to be the worst year of my life turned out to be one of my favorite years of my life so far. It was HARD. There were very miserable times... but I think I have done the most maturing and learning i have ever done. I have grown closer to my Heavenly Father and allowed myself to trust him so much more. And realized how much he blesses you align your life to what he wants for you. Good-bye 2009!!! I will never forget you!!!

Random side note... when I realized today was New Years Eve I kinda panicked because in my brain its like the wonderful year is over... And everything is going to change tomorrow!!! Which is silly because it really is just another day...haha

bored...

2009-12-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Hot Chocolate
2. Last phone call: Brad
3. Last text message: Berkley
4. Last song you listened to: Would you go with me - Josh Turner
5. Last time you cried: um... i dont remember....

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: nope
7. Been cheated on: nope
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope :)
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: mildly...
11. Tripped on your own feet: hahaha more than most people

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. greenish blue
13. black
14. purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yup!
16. Fallen out of love: no....
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes! but thats not hard
18. Met someone who changed you: YES
19. Found out who your true friends were: um... kind of?
20. Found out someone was talking about you: no
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Nope

MISCELLANEOUS:
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: all of them
23. How many kids do you want? any where from three to five
24. Do you have any pets: nope
25. Do you want to change your name: No i like my name
26. What did you do for your last birthday: i went to work.. and skipped class and watched a movie with Tamara i think...
27. What time did you wake up today: noon! yes!
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing basketball
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: warm weather!
30. Last time you saw your mother: day after Christmas
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how much money i make
32. What are you listening to right now: the TV
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : Yup! quite a few times and quite a few Toms
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothin really...
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook
36. What’s your real name: Kelsey.....
37. Nicknames: Kels, Kelso, legs, mama legs,
38. Relationship Status: single as ever
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or female? um...what am i? which do i prefer? i am confused....
41. Primary School? Metcalf and Rivergold
42. Secondary School?: Coarsegold and Star Valley Junior high
43. High school/college?: Star Valley and Stevens High
44. Hair color: brown
45. Long or short: short
46. Height: 5'11"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? hmmm.....
48: What do you like about yourself? I think i am funny... :)
49. Piercings: ears once
50. Tattoos: nope
51. Righty or lefty: righty all the way

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: wisdom teeth
53. First piercing: ears...first and only
54. First best friend: Olivia Pogue
55. First sport you joined: Volleyball....
56. First vacation: Oregon coast on my fourth birthday
57. First scar: I dont remember
58. First pair of trainers: I dont remember

RIGHT NOW :
59. Eating: Nothin
60. Drinking: nothin
61. I'm about to: Fall asleep
62. Listening to: The TV
63. Waiting for: a text so i am not so bored

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? Yes! Some day!
65. Get Married? Yes! Some day!
66. Career: teacher

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: in a boy? EYES!! :) lips can be an added bonus though...
68. Hugs or kisses: dont know if i can choose
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous romance! :) im not usually a fan of the planned cheesy stuff...
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: My question for you is when is that an either--or? its usually both or neither....
73. Sensitive or loud: depends on the situation
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Blond, brown, or redhead? i tend to like the blondies or light brown but it really doesnt matter

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Been in a fist fight: Im a lover not a fighter. :)
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Never had either
79. Written a love note: mmm not a serious one... hahahaha
80. Broken someone's heart: I'm afraid so..
81. Been skydiving/other extreme sport: I want to try skydiving!!! that would be sweet!
82. Been arrested: nope
83. Turned someone down: guilty.... but you probably would have too!
84. Cried when someone died: yes...
85. Fallen for a friend? ........too many times i think.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: most of the time
87. Miracles: YES
88. Love at first sight: no
89. Heaven: yes!
90. Santa Claus: No...
91. Kiss on the first date: No!!!!
92. Angels: yes!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope... thats just wrong
95. Did you sing today? yup! :) i dont think i go a day without singing!
96. Ever cheated on somebody? Nope
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? hmm... some where cool and historical like Christs birth!
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? probably one of the days on my trips to Milwaukee! Or maybe a day that i was in Seattle
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? VERY
100. Have you missed somebody? i am almost always missing SOMEONE

Christmas?

2009-12-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

I haven't necessarily been a scrooge this year but I haven't exactly been spreading the Christmas cheer. It just hasnt really connected with me and my brain that its Christmas so soon! Usually I have all these things telling me its Christmas and I have reason to be excited but this year its not really happening.

Before (even when I was a kid) I had winter break to look forward to. In college it was finishing all of my finals in order to go home and begin the Christmas festivities. I also always decorated my apt and my house in Rigby right after Thanksgiving. I didnt have ANY of that this year. No Finals... Not that I am complaining. I was too lazy to decorate at my parents house this year. My roommate decorated for Christmas before Thanksgiving.... So my brain just hasnt registered that Christmas is in a little less than two weeks. I am going home in like 4 days so hopefully once I am home it will start sinking in.

I think another reason my brain isn't regisitering it is because this year has gone so fast!!! Its been so crazy busy and so crazy good for the most part. My year as a whole is saved for another post... :) Merry Chirstmas my one lovely reader!

DASHBOARD!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-07T21:25:00.000-08:00

Yes you read correctly!!! Berkley and I went to see Dashboard confessional here in Salt Lake this weekend! It was SSSOOO awesome! Theres not much I can say other than it was awesome!!! We got these little shaker things that He passed out. We were pretty close to the front as well. I tried to upload a video but it was taking too long. I didnt have patience to wait for it today! HAHA Yay! I also went to Jon Schmidt. He was way cool as well! It was in Furniture Warehouse and we got to sit on couches while we listened to him! It was a fun weekend full of Berkley! I just love her! She is so great! We had too much fun together probably!

Cuz I know Heavenly Father loves me.

2009-12-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

I just want to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father in every possible way that I can. He has really blessed me SO much lately. MUCH MUCH MUCH more then I could ever deserve. It seems like just when I think I am gonna have to patient and worry he blesses me with what I need. I am especially grateful because I know it is rare to get what you want right when you want it. I dont mean to sound prideful. Its actually very humbling. I have been learning so much about trusting Him. Ever since I moved here it has just kind of been complete blindness and I have been trying really hard to let Him guide me. Things have turned out awesome so far! I feel like I really have a purpose for being in Salt Lake ( i have felt that i needed to be here for over a year and everything that has happened since being here is just confirming that.) I am getting a HUGE lesson in aligning my will with the Fathers. I am in no way perfect at it but I have definitely learned a lot and hopefully I will find out what my purpose in Salt Lake is. So this is just another way that I have been thanking Him for all of the amazing wonderful things that he has helped me with and given me. I have NO doubt in my mind whatsoever that my Heavenly Father loves me and he is watching out for me. He has a plan just for me and I am trying my hardest to follow that plan.

Yeah... im pretty cool...

2009-11-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

I am an official college grad!!! BOO YEAH! I have a bachelors degree! WEIRD! it hasnt had time to sink in so it doesnt feel quite real. Oh but it most definitely is!!! THANK GOODNESS!!!! Time has flown! I am so excited to start work at my new job and get settled in to my life officially in Utah. It still hasnt sunk in that im staying in Utah either...even though that was the plan all along. I think i am just so used to moving that its what i expected. haha any way.... YAY! IM DONE! now i get to be a grown up.....

At the peak of random ramblings...

2009-11-14T23:52:00.000-08:00

This very well maybe be the most random post ever...but no one really reads this any way...

First.....Shout out to my one true and faithful blog reader Mrs. Valerie Stewart! Thanks Val! Love ya! Miss ya! you make me realize maybe people actually care about what random thoughts go through my head...

Second..... I will be a college graduate in approximately 5 days or about 120 hours or about 7200 minutes... time has FLOWN by and i cant even believe that i am almost done. It feels good to think i may never have to do homework again...only thats a lie because teachers are always taking classes to stay certified or get paid more etc etc... And in a way it kinda sucks because i think i have realized that i cant be a teacher. I love teaching and its what i want to do....but teaching takes over your life. I know that it will get better the longer i teach but i just don't want a job that i have to take home with me. I want to stop working when i punch out and leave. I have a job as an aide which really is what i would like to do. i LOVE working with small groups or even one on one with students. I just wish it paid as well as teachers.... i would totally stay doing that the rest of my life. I think i am going to really enjoy my new job.

Third... I hate dating... i hate it with a passion. Pretty much the only reason i do it is because i know i am supposed to and i know if i dont i will never get married. But that doesnt change anything. i still hate it. I havent been on a date in a long time that i have thought "oh my gosh that was so fun i hope he asks me out again" I honestly havent been REALLY attracted (my attraction stays for more than a week) in like 9 months. Dating is just lame to to me..... i would so much rather go on a date with someone that i have gotten to know already and that i can be more myself with. I have probably just gotten bitter and cynical....but i really dont care if i have a date or not... it used to crush me and now when im on a date the whole time im thinking....i would rather be out with my friends. So i have a bad attitude.....yet another reason its gonna be a LONG time before i get married.

Fourth..... I need to find an apt. I havent ever really hunted before i have just said this one ready go. but this time we are actually looking around. and honestly in salt lake there are SSSOOO many options. Its overwhelming. Im sick of looking i just want to be done now.

Fifth.... Im really excited to go home for Thanksgiving. I have been missing my mom and dad lately. I cant say homesick because Rigby isnt home to me. But i am excited to go and be with my family. The Fall season is definitely my favorite time of the year! From like Halloween to Christmas. It rocks my world.

Sixth.... I hate snow. It snowed today.... a lot...... and i shut myself in my apt all day so i wouldnt have to think about it. I live in the basement and cant see it unless i really look hard so i could live in my own delusional world. But then i remember i had a date tonight and i was supposed to meet and my friends apt... so i had to trudge out side and scrape the six inches of snow and inch of ice off my car.... my hands were numb. I am so not looking forward to this winter.

Listen to me being Debbie downer. hahaha just remember my happy point. I graduate in 5 days! woot!

Seventh..... on a much happier note.... I went to the Utah symphony and they did Bravo Broadway... I! LOVED! IT! it was SSOOO awesome! they had three of broadways stars come and sing the songs while the Utah symphony played them. There were a few times i caught myself with my mouth just hanging open. The tenor was like all that is good and holy in the world. I was in love with him just because of his voice.... It seriously like put me in a trance....he gave me chills.... i dont know what it is about tenor voices but it just fills me with this love.... while i was listening to him it mad me think there is nothing wrong in the world.... his voice cannot even be described in words. My favorite thing i have done in Utah so far! BY FAR!

The End....

OVERWHELMING JOY AND GRATITUDE!

2009-11-05T15:50:00.000-08:00

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My school offered me a job today!!!!! I am so excited that I get to stay with my kids!! Plus this is a great way to get my foot in the door!!! I feel SO SO SO SO SO SO blessed!!! i cant even describe in words......

Bittersweet!!!

2009-11-04T16:24:00.001-08:00

So.... I only have two and a half weeks of teaching!!!!!! This is my last full week of teaching! Starting next week I start handing the classroom back! Its gone so fast! There have been so many times that I thought I was going to die! And still others that I thought all was well and things were going great! I had my last observation from my supervisor today! I got all fours but one... and it was a 3 plus.. for what i thought was kind of a silly reason.....but i will take what i can get i guess. I am very excited to be done student teaching and not have to worry about getting my degree... but i am going to miss these kids SO much!! For some reason it really hit me today how much I have seen them grow just in the short time i have been with them. I love each one of my kids so much! I feel so proud of them! I just want the very best for them! Its kind of ridiculous how crazy I am about them. But at the same time how much they drive me crazy! HAHA Like i said...its bittersweet that its the end.

I really CANT believe that this means i have a bachelors degree!!!! I will have an official diploma in like 17 days! well...it probably wont be in my hand by then...but you know what i mean! I dont feel old enough to be a college grad! It feels good though! I actually feel like i accomplished something unlike my high school graduation... Hooray for jumping a life hurtle!

More Kid Funnies

2009-10-23T16:09:00.001-07:00

Here are some of my most recent funny stories.

Today a little boy raised his hand and showed me a picture of a Jazz game that was in a book about the Jazz. Our conversation went as follows...

Hunter: LOOK!!! Miss H!!! There I am!
Me: Really?
Hunter: YEAH! and my grandma and grandpa! and theres Roby over there!
Me: Um...Hunter are you sure? What year were you born?
Hunter: 1999, Why?
Me: This pictures says it was taken in 1996....
Hunter: oh....

Then all the kids started joking and saying they were born in 1996, 1993, or even 1990! (They said 1990 like NO WAY THATS SO OLD!) Then one little boy piped up and said "OH YEAH? I was born in 1987! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" all the kids are laughing... and then i said Hey... I really was born in 1987!

They all froze. Jaws on the floor. Eyes wide....

Then one little boys goes "HOLY COW! Are you like 80?!?!?!?!?!"
I made them all do the subtraction (2009-1987) on a piece of paper to see how "old" I really am.

Another one....not quite as funny... I have my students write sentences using out vocabulary words and one of our vocabulary words was plunged, like he plunged off the cliff into the water below. I tried so hard to steer away from any other meaning of plunged and make sure they understood it meant falling.... I had the students pick 4 of our vocab words and write a sentence using them. I was checking their work at the end of the day and one little boy wrote "I plunged the toilet." I just thought it was funny.....

Another vocab word was vast... A little girl wrote "I have something vast in my pants"... I dont want to know.....

One little boy always writes "Miss H is cool" or "Miss H is nice" or any variation of that ALL over his papers that he hands in...This kid is already trying to butter me up...

Yesterday we were lined up next to the bathrooms waiting for students still in there. We were on our way to lunch and i always make them be really quiet because there are other kids still in class. Well all of the sudden someone in the boys bathroom burps...but this was like the loudest burp in the history of the world i swear! NOT to mention the echoing from the bathroom. I just kinda gave the kids lined up in the hall a look and then they all burst out laughing. Here I am trying to keep my composure and tell them its not appropriate to laugh at something like that and the kid that did it comes practically rolling out of the bathroom laughing his head off.... I tried everything in my power to stay composed and not laugh... i bit my lip, i turned around, i tried to think of something else....but then i couldn't take it! I burst out laughing too....It was HILARIOUS! and all the kids laughing about it made it even funnier! I was probably laughing the hardest out of any one... One of the guys that does in school suspension walked past and just looked at us really weird while me and 26 ten year olds are laughing our guts out.

I was walking down the hall by myself to lunch and this random little boy came up to me and said "Hi Miss H!!!" I was surprised but said Hi back. Then he said "Do you know who I am?" and i said "well.... no actually I don't... whats your name?" and he said "Its Tony! Remember? You hit me with the door! Oh! and my sister is your class..." I had no idea who this kids was...but apparently i hit him with the door... hahahahaha I felt really guilty that i didnt remember hitting him with the door or remember who he was...

I love my job most days! Its pretty great to work with these adorable kids. I love their perspective on life and friends and school. They help me keep my focus and remember what is important in life.

Remind me again why I wanted to be an adult?

2009-10-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

My life is really pretty unexciting. My parents call and say whats new and I really struggle to come up with anything...the best I can think of is...um.... I watched a movie and didn't fall asleep! HA anyone that knows anything about me know that is a pretty exciting thing!

Any way... I feel kind of obligated to update my blog... so I guess I am just gonna ramble (I dont know if thats anything new though). Lately I have just been realizing more and more how stressful it is to be an adult. Right now my life is kind of nuts.... It's like this:

plan 4 lessons a day for student teaching
while you put together a work sample of a unit you taught (it takes a lot of extra work)
while you teach those 4 lesson plans every day
While you have tons of energy to keep the kids involved
WHile you look and apply for jobs
WHIle you have no money
WHILe you try to be social
WHILE running on 5 hours of sleep
WHILE you have a cold or some kind of sickness
oh yeah...and you need to do it all with a smile on your face!

It just piles up. Its a bit overwhelming to think about, especially all at once.... but one day at a time...thats all I can do. I hate to wish my life away...but i just wish things were a little bit more settled right now. My life is kind of in a giant upheaval. I cant wait til I have a job that i actually get paid for. Can it be January? haha

Deep breaths

2009-10-06T16:44:00.000-07:00

So....student teaching is HARD!!!!!!!!! I wish you could in some way feel the emphasis i put in every letter when i typed HARD!!!!!!!!!!! Its funny though...because its not hard like i thought it would be. I can write a MEAN lesson plan! I can plan like no other... I can mostly do the stuff they taught me with no real problems.....

The problem now is all the stuff that they tell you about....but (maybe this is just me) can really only be learned through experience. Let me tell you what... trying to make ONE lesson work for 26 kids on 26 levels of learning..... Its a HUGE task to be faced with. And sometimes I feel like I couldnt be more direct when I am planning and then it turns out that I am totally and completely WRONG! Not to mention... I dont know if they really make you understand what its like to control 26 kids.... they get like mob mentality...its SO hard sometimes to keep everyone attention..keep everyone (including the district, parents, principles, the teacher next door) happy. Teaching is freaking stressful!! Its an art! it really is! I hope i get the hang of it soon.....

No wonder I am so tired...

2009-09-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

So this last weekend I had Friday off so Thursday after school Kelcie Dickson and I headed up to Idaho.

It was kind of a CRAZY trip. We were both a little apprehensive to be back in Rexburg now that everyone else was back in school. I was super busy the whole weekend. I had been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. My dad came and woke me up early Friday morning because i needed to get my tires rotated and oil changed. Off we went to get my tires rotated. We werent there five minutes when the guy came out and said theres no point in rotating them because they are bald. You know what that means....new tires.....OUCH! thankfully my dad paid the $450 it cost to get them. Then they said that the recommend i get new front brakes as well. Another $130 plus tax... I havent done that part yet...but I need to do it soon. I got my oil changed as well....so pretty much I spent like $600 getting my car good to go. :(

After I got my car all fixed up I went to see all my Day care kids! It was SO fun to be back! there werent very many there...and my babies werent there... :( but one of my favorite little boys Elijah has changed SO much! He used to be this little CHUNK of a kid... kinda short stubby, round kid. He was ADORABLE! and we always joked that you lifted Elijah too much if your back was hurting. Now he has really grown! He has gotten tall and skinny! It was so cute when I saw him and got his attention he ran right up to me. I scooped him right up and he laid his head on my shoulder! I loved it so much! I have missed my little babies and toddlers!

After work, i went to Rexburg. It was way weird to be there but it was fun to hang out with Katelyn just like the good old days. We went to Jason Hewlett. He was really funny! I missed Rexburg in the past and the memories and the people...BUT i am VERY glad i am not there any more.

Saturday Kelcie and I got up around 9 and headed back to Utah. We drove straight past our houses and drove all the way to Provo. A friend of mine is in the marching band and invited me to come watch the game and see his half time show. So, we met Allison at her house and then walked to the football stadium. We went to a tail gate party with some of Kelcies family and then headed over to the game. Walking to the stadium we ran into a guy in our ward. He was joking with us saying that he hoped we didnt get seats on the east side of the stadium because we would be in the sun. Unfortunately we most definitely were on the East side of the stadium.... We were SWELTERING! it was SSSOOOO hot! and we were squinting the whole time. BUT it was SSSOOO fun! we got all into it and had a lot of fun! I would love to go again!

After the game we walked back to Allisons apt and the went to get something to eat. We didn't even leave Provo until almost 11. When we got home we threw our clothes in the washer (they were SUPER sweaty and nasty) took showers and went to bed.

It was a really fun weekend but I was SO busy its no wonder I am so tired lately! And the suckiest part is that i havent slept much even though i have been so tired. It was worth it though! I needed a fun weekend to forget i was a teacher and be young again!

Toto.....We're not in Kansas any more....

2009-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

So being in Salt Lake has totally been amazing!!! I have LOVED being here. But something that I have been thinking about (especially after last night) is the fact that I am DEFINITELY not at BYU-I any more... But don't you worry! I see that mostly as a good thing!!!! :)

Example number one: Stake FHE last night turned into a sort of dance thing on the lawn. They played songs other than 70's classics and techno! They played songs you could actually dance to! Songs that are actually still played on the radio.

Example number two: The way some of the girls danced/were dressed was not exactly BYU-I standards. In a way that is good! You dont get scowled and shunned if you wear shorts to a church activity! which is amazing! But I don't think I need to go into how it could be bad.

Example number three: This one is kind of silly but OH SO true!!! and you may only agree if you have gone to BYU-I but after the stake FHE we went to get hot chocolate and the ratio was 3:7......as in 3 girls 7 boys!!!!! That would NEVER happen at BYU-I thats almost always flip flopped.

Example number four: 11:00 pm is a late night for me. In Rexburg if I made it to bed before midnight it was nothing short of a miracle!!! It's really nice only having one roommate because I CAN go to bed!!! I dont have 5 other people tromping around the apt while I'm trying to get stuff done or sleep.

Example number five: I AM YOUNG HERE!!!! HOORAY! in Rexburg I was like the old maid....22 and not married whats wrong with you??? Unfortunately I still get oh..are you 18? but then once they find out how old i am its like 22...oh thats pretty average...or even young.

I can think of an example six involving snow and ice....but i dont want to curse myself because it hasnt snowed yet.

Well there you have it! There are about a million ways i can tell i am not at BYU-Idaho any more!!! and most of them i am very grateful!!! Rexburg-- i love you, but I'm glad to be moving on to bigger and better things! As my wonderful roommate Katie put it "Rexburg is great if you are 18"

Early 90's flashback!

2009-09-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Last night, Boy II Men were in Salt Lake! Kelcie Dickson and I really wanted to go but found that it was sold out. We decided to take an adventure to the Utah State Fair any way! We took our time getting there and then wandered around for a while. We stood outside the auditorium to try and get a peak of them. If we stood on our tip toes we could see over the giant crowd of people. In all actuality we didnt have a TERRIBLE view but we had to stand on our tippy toes.

So there we are standing in this crowd of people listening and this random group of like 4-5 people came up to us and were like "HEY! do you want our tickets? We had people cancel on us!" We were so excited we practically ran into the auditorium. As we were squeezing past all the people around us we could hear jealous cries like "What? thats ridiculous! I would have paid you for them!" HAHA we got so incredibly lucky! We got there probably about half way through the concert. It was awesome! and lots of fun! I am trying to download videos and pictures that I took on my phone but we will see how it works...

When the concert was over we started walking around again. Then next thing we know we ran into a few people from our ward! We decided to stick with them. The five of us went on the ferris wheel and then walked around some more. Then we ran into MORE memebers of our ward. One of the girls had heard about deep fried oreos and was dying to try them. They all got an assortment of random deep fried things like peanut butter and jelly, oreos, and brownies. They werent bad, but definitely not worth the hype.

All in all my night was GREAT! Im so glad that Kelcie and I decided to go and get out of the house! Probably one of the funnest nights in Salt Lake so far!

Here is a link to the video I took. I put it on facebook.

Elementary Funnies!

2009-09-19T00:05:00.000-07:00

So working at an elementary I get some pretty funny stories. Here are a few of my favorites so far.

- This little boy came up to me and said Miss H... You look nice, but your not! HAHAHA I laughed out loud in his face! It cracked me up.

- Today the kids were asking if I had any kids....then one little boy kept going....Do you have any kids? Why not? Do you need to get a boyfriend? Or you need to get married first? The other little boy (mentioned before) says WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Don't ask so many questions! You are getting too personal!

-This little boy mentioned in both stories before is so funny!!! He always says the most random things that just crack me up.

- I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they call my Miss H. I dont really know why but I just love hearing it! That sounds really self centered... HAHA! One little boy in my reading group saw me in the hall and was so excited! He said HI MISS H!!! and then when i said Hi back he got all shy...haha

my kids are so cute! they make me so tired but im already so crazy about them.

Do you realize the impact you have?

2009-09-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just as a warning, I may sound kind of angry....but thats because I am! Well maybe not angry....but frustrated. This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Do you realize the impact that you have on someone else? I mean if you think about it, really, I'm sure none of us TRULY realize the impact we have. We may not realize what smiling at someone else will do for them. It may not connect with us that when you held the door for someone else it totally made their day. That is connected to, but is not my point.

For Example, there is this adorable little boy in my class. He really has a hard time in school, its not something that comes easily to him. Not to mention the fact that he has a really hard home life. While he is in school you can tell he has a million other things racing through his head and can't focus. He often mentions how much he loves his dad and loves spending time with him. I came to find out recently that his dad is in prison. Then everything clicked for me. I can tell that this little boy is ACHING for his father. He wants nothing more than to come home and be able to be with his Dad. Not having that is really taking a toll on the rest of his life. I ask again, Do you really know the impact you have on someone?

It completely and utterly breaks my heart to see this little boy. Now, don't get me wrong. I dont mean to say that his father is a terrible person and doesn't care about his son. That is not my judgment to make. I just wonder if this boys father knows how important he is to him. Does he see that this little boy needs a father? I think a lot of us (especially me) take or took advantage of having both parents there all the time. I never had to feel the way this little boy feels. The mother/teacher/woman in me just wants to fix it for this little boy and make it all better. I know that his academics would improve so much if he had a good solid roll model that was THERE with him, pushing him towards the ultimate goal. I know for a fact that this little boy has people in his life pushing him and loving him and helping him, but I just see what an important roll parents play in their kids lives.Children are pretty much my life, if you can't tell. I have this unexplainable love for them. They make me happier than anything else in this world. It just kills me when I see they are having a hard time.

Random side note, it makes me think about my future children. It makes me realize (even more so) the importance of being involved in your kids life. It makes me realize how important it is for me to find someone that will be a good father to my children. Someone that they can rely on and someone that is a big part of their lives.

Secondly, it makes me appreciate my wonderful parents. They have supported and do support me in everything! It's a little different now that I am older, but knowing I have their support still gives me that much more confidence to achieve. Everyone needs that from one person or another!

Now to parents, YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU! Coming from a teachers perspective, kids do 100 times better when they have home support! I really can't express the importance of parents in a child's life!!!

See Title of Blog...

2009-09-08T20:01:00.001-07:00

So, I dont really have anything in particular that I want to blog about...but I was just noticing that I can seem to make a short post any more...So that is the main purpose of my post. I am going to make it short and sweet so that people don't have to take a nap to finish my posts.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is N'Sync! HAHA yes your read correctly!! Katie and I went to Orem to watch the BYU game at her cousins house and on the way home we were rocking out to N'sync. Ever since I have just loved listening to them again!!! I miss the good old days of boy bands.

Another thing.... I went to change my blog background... I hate that on cutest blog on the block only shows you a tiny picture of what the background is and you cant really read what it says. So you pick one that looks cute and when you apply it as your background it says something like ITS A BOY! or BEACH PARTY when its the middle of December. Has any one else experienced this? Maybe I am just not smart enough to work cutest blogs on the block...

Any way...this blog is short remember? I cant start rambling... Those are two things on my mind...can you tell how exciting my life is? :) Life is good!

Loving Salt Lake!

2009-09-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well I have been student teaching for officially two weeks now! I can't believe how time has flown already!! I have begun to realize what a crazy job teaching is. It is SO much work!! A lot times I don't think people realize how much work it is! Including me!!

I started teaching math this last week. It has been SO hard for me! My students are extremely low. It was a ginormous struggle for me to get on their level. They really need SUPER simple and SUPER entertaining or they don't get it and don't pay attention. I spent the whole week trying to figure it out. My lesson on Friday was simply amazing! I really took it down in to pieces and did about half of what the book wanted me to do in one lesson and i made it interactive. My kids LOVED it! I had so many kids that were being apart of the discussion and interactions. It felt SO amazing to have done a lesson that they actually understood and could handle! I felt like a good teacher! I just hope my lessons keep going that well!

Other than that my student teaching has been a wonderful and amazing experience. I seriously LOVE Salt Lake so far. Its great! The boy selections is about 10 and a half million times better then that in Idaho.... Parts of me do miss Idaho...but I KNOW I'm supposed to be in Salt Lake! I was so ready to get out of Eastern Idaho and now that I have it has been AMAZING! Other than that I really dont have too much that is super exciting in my life. I have gone on a couple dates since I have been here. One was much better then the other! but yeah! Life is good!

Utah: Week one!

2009-08-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well I have officially been in Salt Lake for just barely over a week. I dont know if I realized how accurate it would be when I used the word adventure! It has definitely been interesting

The first few days I was at my apt alone. My wonderful roommate was in Greece. The first night I was so exhausted I just crashed. The next night my very active imagination got the best of me for a little while, but then I eventually got so tired I didnt care any more. I stayed pretty busy at first getting all of the odds and ends together and unpacking. Saturday morning I woke up and had a bowl of cereal. My milk was warm...but i didnt think much of it and just turned up the temperature and went about my business. That afternoon Millie came over. We went to see Time Travelers Wife (good by the way! I LOVE her wedding ring!) when we got back to my apt I opened the fridge so that we could start making dinner. The smell was pretty bad....and all the food was still warm! I looked in the freezer to see all the meat in there completely raw! everything was at minimum room temperature! Katie and I had tons of meet in there ranging from Salmon to chicken. All of which was completely runied and starting to smell. The freezer was dripping with all kinds of meat juices. Millie and I made a joint effort and cleaned out all the meat hoping to salvage the rest of the stuff in there. I called my land lord but he didnt answer. I e-mailed him, which thankfully he got later. I went to church the next morning and when we got back everything in the fridge and freezer had gone bad....my apartment smelt SSSOOO bad! I finally got a new fridge the next day. It took my landlord and like 3 other guys to haul the old one out (which started leaking all kinds of smelly juices as they did so) and bring the new one in. I made several futile attempts and making my apt smell better in the mean time. I bought like 12 air freshners, lysol spray, and all the ingredients to bake cookies. Once the old fridge was out life was good.

The next part of the adventure is driving in Utah.....I had always heard how terrible Utah drivers were but now I am witness! They are pretty scary! I dont think they really know what a red light means...they only stop if someone in front of them is smart enough to stop. I almost have a nervous break down every time i have to drive any where.... Besides the other drivers, I am not used to city driving. One minute you are in one lane and then suddenly that lane ends...or theres a median and you cant turn when you want to, or some idiot guy is driving down the turning lane so you can't get into the turning lane so you miss your turn and you cant turn around for another million blocks.... its stressful. Im sure it doesnt help that most of the time I have NO idea where I am going. I probably make the Utah drivers even worse.

Getting into my school had been a really FUN adventure! I finally met my cooperating teacher on Wednesday. I sat through a forever long faculty meeting, but it was really awesome to see how everything works. I got to meet some of my students and take a look at my school. From the outside Redwood looks really kind of sketchy. But its WAY nice on the inside! There is a computer for every two students on the desks. My teacher said she uses them all the time! I have this official badge that I have to have to get pretty much any where in the school as well. I feel pretty important! haha! My teacher is really sweet! She has been teaching for years but is the type that says we are going to learn together. She knows that both of us are learning from each other. She even went as far as calling it OUR classroom today! It makes me feel like the last 4 years of my life actually mean something! It really makes me proud of what I have accomplished! School starts on Monday and I am looking forward to getting in and meeting the students and start teaching!

Kelcie, my friend that was in the EL ED program with me, and i are going to the Salt Lake Temple tomorrow! I am So excited! I have always wanted to go inside the Salt Lake Temple! I used to want to get married there! It should be really fun! So far I am loving Salt Lake! There have already been a few ups and downs and moments where i am scared out of my mind, and I'm sure there are PLENTY more to come. But, overall, I feel like this is really where I need to be and the Lord is blessing me! More to come later I'm sure!!

Adventure: Part Two

2009-08-13T20:49:00.001-07:00

Well, Im not gonna lie, the time from graduation to now has FLOWN by! I can't believe it! After graduation I worked and played with my niece and nephew for a few days. Then I quickly packed all my junk. (I never realize how much stuff I have until I get it all in one place) After a few days of packing and getting ready to go I started on my major adventure. I packed up my car and drove to Utah. I left my car at my Aunt Liz's house where my sister picked me up. That night I saw my apt for the first time ever! I will get to details of my apt later. I spent the night at my sisters in law's house and the next morning we started on our journey to Milwaukee. Before we left I had this feeling to check my flight information. I looked in e-mail, travel sites and anything I could think of and I couldn't find any proof at all that I had a flight home. Needless to say I was panicking. My sister couldn't make it to Milwaukee with just her and the two kids...but buying a new plane ticket was more the double the price i payed before and completely not an option. Luckily we finally got a hold of the company and they finally confirmed my flight home! Here are some highlights of the trip.

*Whitney (my sister) and I managed to quote our mom at the same time. Scott was jumping on the bed. We told him to stop but he wouldnt and fell and bonked his head. At the same time we said "that's what happens" just like our mother would say to us.
*One of the days I handed Grace a granola bar to eat for a snack. I glanced back a few minutes later to see she had some granola in her lap. Then I saw it was even down in her crotch area. She was in a dress and when I went to wipe it out I noticed there was chocolate on her leg! I started laughing so she looked then screamed (sounding almost exactly like her mother) "What the heck is on my leg?" I was still doubled over in laughter when I hear " IS IT POOP!?!?!" I tried to clean her up but I was laughing way to hard. I have a picture...but its a little too revealing to share... haha
*I accidentally taught my nephew how to say 'Puke'. He kept repeating it the rest of the time i was there....oops
*I was official navigator for most of the trip. The bridge over the Mississippi was closed so we had to go the long way around. The maps were small and hard to read but luckily Whit saw a sign and swerved across a few lanes to get to the exit. It looked like we were in the middle of no where but luckily it took us right where we wanted
*When we got to Milwaukee we went to the Jelly Belly Factory and got free samples. On top of that I think I bought enough Jelly Bellys to last a lifetime....
*We went to the Milwaukee Zoo. It was a way good Zoo! I liked it a lot! There was a new jaguar that came running at the glass and gave me and my niece a heart attack until we remembered there was glass there. It was a little scary to have a huge cat running at you...
*One night my niece and I had some pudding. My sister asked how it was and I replied "Well... you know that taste you get in your mouth when you're sharpening your pencil?" It had an after taste like when you smell pencil shavings and you can kind of taste it. (Yes I realize how ridiculous it sounds now...) Whit just looked at me like what??? and then burst out laughing. The funniest part is that at the Jelly Belly factory there were jelly bellys that were pencil shaving flavored! haha I wanted Whitney to try it so that she knew what I was talking about...for some reason she declined. haha
*Best of all I got to spend a ENTIRE week with my sister and niece and nephew. Three of my favorite people in the whole world! I dont get to see them much, so to spend so much time with them was PERFECT. I loved it so much!

My flight home went smoothly in that I had no problems, but there was a WHOLE lot of turbulence. I was super tired when I got in to Salt Lake and still had to move ALL my junk into my apt. My mom tried to follow me to get my brother and we got separated and lost. I was getting so frustrated and scared etc....I had like a mini panic attack. To make a long story short i ended up driving around a lot. I got on the free way to see my hood wiggling around. It had popped open and I was driving down the freeway! Not to mention my phone was gonna die any second and if it died I would have no hope of finding my brothers apt. When I finally found my brother I was a giant stress ball.....Then we didnt get to my apt til almost 6. Luckily both my studly brothers came to help me move it all in. Then we had to go get my bed and desk. Then for some random reason we decided to go to a movie. Keep in mind ALL of my stuff is sitting still packed in my apt. After the movie we went shopping for a sec to get me a little food and then I came back to my apt and crashed. I ended up sleeping on the couch because all my stuff was still packed.

This morning my mom came back and we went shopping. I spent a butt load of money getting odds and ends and food that I needed. When we got back from shopping my mom took off to go home. I spent the next few hours doing some unpacking and setting up. I put together my desk with no problems. Then i tried my hand at the bookshelf. I did pretty good at first but the majorly screwed up and didnt have the tools to fix it. I gave up unpacking for the rest of the day. I finally showered and went and hung out with my brothers.

All in all Salt Lake is pretty good so far! I have been kind of a giant stress ball the last few days but i think i am starting to calm down a bit. There are lots of stressful things going on in my life right now. Last week the doctors said that My dads cancer was officially in remission. We were all so excited! My dad has been feeling SO much better and much more himself. He couldnt wait to get rid of the trac and feeding tube. They told him he could get it removed today, but after doctor appointments they decided that the cancer is not gone. They are not 100% sure but they think it is back, and that they will have to take the rest of his tongue and who knows what else. I dont think my dad will do treatments again. They are doing tests this next week to make sure and see what else they can do. So who knows what will happen. Moving to Salt Lake has also hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully my brothers are both pretty close and they have been so good at helping me and hanging out with me. So far so good. Driving is a bit of a stress for me. I think all of this Salt Lake stuff is just a matter of adjusting. I am making some major life changes. But I'm hanging in there! The Lord is guiding me and I just have to really put my faith in him. He has a plan for me and i really have to remember that right now.

Life is good! stressful but continuing onward! Salt Lake adventure: Begun!