Seattle!!!!

Katelyn and I are back from our amazing trip to Seattle!! it was so so fun! I LOVED like all of Washington! (except like two of the four hours between Spokane and Seattle....BORING!) Its so green and full of trees!!! its beautiful!!! Warning...this could be a long post...but deal with it! cuz i just wanna gush about my trip!!!

Day One we left about 4 o'clock and drove to Spokane. It actually went pretty fast and wasn't near as bad of a drive as i was expecting. We slept on Katelyn's sisters floor that night in Spokane and then headed out to Seattle the next day.

Day Two was probably the worst of the whole drive. Well only two hours of it. Eastern Washington, after Spokane, is almost as bad as driving through Southern Wyoming. Flat, and boring.... but then it gets really pretty really fast! We went over this cool bridge that goes over the Columbia River. I was gonna post a bunch of pictures but they take forever to load, so i will only post a few. The views were amazing! We were gonna stop at the temple first but missed the exit, so instead we went to the hotel first and check in. Our hotel was REALLY nice! probably one of the nicest I have stayed in. It had 2 flat screen TV's, 2 beds, granite counter with a sink, mini fridge and microwave, it had a couch and all that. It was way nice! and we got it for $74 a night!!! It smelled like they had just re-painted...one downside. Here is a picture of the bed part, just to give you an idea. When we got settled into our hotel we ate dinner and then we decided to just drive around the area of our hotel a bit. All of the sudden we turn the corner and there is the HUGE mall!!! probably one of the biggest i have ever been in! it was awesome! We walked around a bit and then bought some super sweet sun glasses for like $5. Excellent! When we were done at the mall we went back and went to the temple. We took a few pictures and then Katelyns camera died. She wanted to see if we could find a wal-mart so she could buy a new cord to charge it. We found out there was a Walmart in Renton but we didnt know where in Renton....but well well well what do you know we practically drove right to it again! We had SUPER good luck the whole time we were in Seattle! We didnt get lost a single time! Any way, then we just went back to the Hotel and watched some randome show. We thought about doing the paper view thing but they were like $12 to watch a movie once!! geez louise!!!

Day Three is where it gets a little more exciting! We woke up and ate a WONDERFUL hot breakfast of hashbrowns, eggs, and sausage. Then we got ready and made our first adventure into the heart of Seattle! The first thing on our list was Woodland park Zoo. It was pretty fun. Pretty much like every other Zoo you have been to. The views from North Seattle were pretty cool though! And i loved the feel of the houses up there and the steep hilly populated part of the city! I loved it!!! here is a picture across from the Zoo. After the Zoo we made our way to Downtown Seattle. We were kinda worried about parking so we took the first one we saw....kind of a bad idea just because we ended up paying a butt load for two hours...and we found about a million other places closer and cheeper.... but it ended up being ok. We then made our way up to the top of the Space Needle! I dont know what it is about it but i LOVE city scapes! i think they are so cool! i wish i could have seen it at night. I took about a million pictures up there. When we came down we asked these two random guys to take a picture for us. They very willingly did and then one decided that he wanted a picture with us and the space needle. He said "I want to stand in the middle of you girls. Then we can make the bars!! Like verizon!" He meant like the signal bars for cingular or whatever because Katelyn was so short and i was so tall. He was just a bit shorter then me. HAHA i thought it was funny... Then the other guy decided that he wanted his picture too... He was like 15 and he jumped in and put his arms around us. I bet he thought he was pretty cool. I wish i woul have got a picture with them too but we didnt think about it til after they walked away. After the Space Needle we went to the experience music project. They had this cool thing that looked like a tornado with guitars, keyboards drums, all that stuff it was way cool. The featured artist was Jimi Hendrix. Neither of us are too into him, but it was cool to see some of his costumes and music and all that. They also had a place up stairs with individual booths that teach you how to play the certain intruments. We did a keyboard one for like two seconds and they it froze up but it was fun. After we were done there we had to go because our time was up for where we parked. After Seattle we drove back to the mall by our Hotel and ate Panda express. A luxury we dont have in Idaho. We both snarfed it! it was so good and we were so hungry and tired after being on our feet all day! Next we went to the hotel and just chilled. Our feet hurt and we were way tired so we just laid in bed and watched TV. We fell asleep SUPER early....like 10-ish and it felt SO good to get some rest!

Day four was probably the most exciting! We woke up and ate another wonderful breakfast at our fancy hotel and then got ready. The first stop on todays list was the Aquarium. We actually took our time to find good parking and got a way better deal. We walked down to the water front and took some pictures and then made our way in the Aquarium. They had some way cool features and it was very educational. There were lots of very different things and kept you entertained. They had this part where you could touch them. A lot of the Star fish were slimy...it was kinda gross. The aquarium has some good views of the Olympic mountains and Elliott bay. After the Aquarium we did a cruise of Elliot bay. The captian of our boat was hilarious. Katelyn and i were bustin a gut! We actually got to learn even more about the history of Seattle which was pretty fun! The very first picture is from the boat. Here is a picture of Katelyn and I on the boat. After we rode the boat we just walked around downtown Seattle. Specifically Pike Place Market. It was cool to see all the little shops an all the things you could buy. I think my favorite was the rows and rows of flowers!!! I hated the smell of the fresh fish though! Katelyn was so disappointed because i HATE seafood! We could have got some really good stuff there but i am not a fan. Pike Place and downtown was cool but a little bit of a culture shock for me. There were TONS of homeless people....tons of creepy people that made me really nervous....especially the way they would look at you. Katelyn and I had death grips on our purses! We went to this super creepy store called Ye old Curiosity shop and it was freaky!! there were SO many people in there and most of them were way freaky. They sold kinda weird stuff that i was a little too nervous to look too closely at. It was kinda fun though once we got out alive. Plus also... i didnt feel like pike place was very sanitary. I didnt want to eat anything there. It made me a little nervous. Im sure going on a mission would cure that for me. It was still really cool though!!! After all that we got into Rio and made our way back to Spokane. By that time we were so so tired and kind of sick of traveling that we decided to skip touring spokane Sunday (today) like we were supposed to and just come home.

All in all the trip was AMAZING!!! i loved Seattle! I loved being away from home and having a little adventure of my own. Being in Seattle really made me excited to get out of Eastern Idaho and start a real life! Im excited to graduate college and live my life! I had a lot of time to think on the trip and it was just all around SO good for me! I really loved Washington! i definitely wouldn't mind visiting again soon! or who knows maybe even living there some day! its so beautiful!! Well thats all for now. Im gonna work on posting a few more pictures on facebook if you wanna see more!

Time for an update....for all three of you that read this.

Life is pretty good. Theres not much new in my life, but a lot going on at the same time. If that makes any sense.

I have been working at the day care again for the summer. I work with all new girls and I really love them! They make it pretty fun. I love the kids so much too. They teach me things all the time, especially things about my Heavenly Father, and even myself. There's one little boy that has kind of been my saving grace. He can tell when I am getting frustrated or upset and he will just say teacher....and then sing If you're happy and you know it clap you hands! Or else he will just stop me and say Teacher, i love you. and gives me a big hug. It helps me to stop and take a deep breath so i dont loose my temper. Its funny to me the little hidden blessings the Lord gives to me always. Working at the day care also keeps me entertained. The kids are so funny and so cute. I have a new funny story almost every day. The kids are always telling me that i just need to find someone and marry him. They just dont understand why i am not married. I feel like im back at BYU-I sometimes.... :)

I am also taking two classes this summer. One is on campus in Rexburg and the other is online. Well stupid forgetful me, i haven't been making a list (that is like the world coming to an end for me by the way) and i missed the first two deadlines for my online class. Lame....dont worry i got the next one in with time to spare. My on campus class is interesting. I am actually seeing how it applies with experiences i have already had. Its pretty intense though. In order to pass the tests you have to get an 86% or better. Your grade is based on how many times it takes you to pass it. Each time you take the test your grade goes down. Not to mention the questions change with each test you take.....Our first one opens tomorrow. I am pretty nervous.

My dad is doing alright. They found out that the cancer has spread into his neck, so they moved the radiation up. He started Radiation a few days ago. Just looking at him the radiation makes no difference yet, but he says it really makes him feel lousy. He felt lousy before. He is hanging in there. He is being a trooper. Its taking patience on everyones part. I just try to rely on the Lord. He knows what hes doing and i need to trust that.

Another thing....probably the most exciting part of this wonderful post is that I am going to Seattle in 4 days!!!! Katelyn and I have planned and planned and we are so excited to go! We have a hotel for 2 nights and we have these City passes that allows us to go into a bunch of different things. Im really excited to have a break and be able to have a few days to just have fun and do things that i WANT to do and just not things i HAVE to do! It is a much needed vacation for me right now. Not to mention im sure once i get back i will post pictures, and stories and the whole she-bang.

I started going to the singles branch here in Rigby. I have only gone to FHE i guess.... so i cant say that yet but ya know.... So far its pretty much what i expected....about 1 boy for every 5 girls. I think it will be fine though. I dont think i will love it by any means, but it should be fun.

A final thing...i got an e-mail about the rent for student housing in Salt Lake....its like1700 something plus $100 deposit. For almost exactly 4 months!!! it is SO ridiculous. I am probably just gonna end up finding my own housing. It could be a blessing but also a pain in the butt. Being on your own is kind of scary.

With all this stuff going on, and between work and studying and doing homework i get pretty darn tired. I am finally getting the hang of it all and accomplishing a lot in a day. It always makes me feel good to completely cross off everything on my list for that day!! It seems like I sleep so much better!!! Any way.......Thats all for now.

ESFJ personality

I just read Katie's blog about this Myers briggs personality test and found it kind of interesting so I decided to do it too! I was kind of curious. ESFJ stands for Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging.

Heres some highlights of what that means.... its kind of a lot but the first and last paragraphs sum it up well. I think its pretty darn accurate from my perspective.

The Caregiver

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

Calm before the storm?

Well for now the storm is mostly over. My dad's tongue cancer looked pretty bad and they said he would probably never talk again. They also said he would spend probably 10 days in the hospital. We were so so blessed by the Lord and everyone's prayers and fasting! He only spent a week in the hospital which is awesome! His surgery was twelve hours but they were able to save part of his tongue! Hes home now and doing pretty well. He has to keep the tracheotomy because he starts radiation soon and it will cause his throat to swell again. He is getting better and better with talking and is to the point that he can talk without using the speaking valve on the trach. Hes up and moving around and acts like he feels pretty good all things considered! He has been a trooper.
My stressful semester is over, thank goodness. All in all it was a pretty good semester for me, even though i thought i was going to DIE during it. I made a lot of good memories and learned a lot! I am now working back at the day care. I am a little nervous because last summer kind of scarred me because i worked so much. So far it has been ok. It is a good place to work and Diane loves me so she really works with me. Im still adjusting to living at home...which i hate...but its better then having to pay rent.
For student teaching i am going to South Salt Lake. Most days im really excited and then other days relaity sets in and i get really nervous and scared! It will be good though. I found out i have been requested to student teach in the Jordan district, which is still a huge area but its a little more specific. Thats pretty much my life in a nut shell....not super exciting but live is good!

Woah baby!

2009 has been an interesting year for me. In the beginning I thought it was going to be awesome! I was getting to know this awesome guy! I knew that i was going to be learning and growing a ton and i was really excited for the new year. Little did i know what was waiting for me. I had to make a huge decision about this awesome guy i was getting to know....which was really hard for me. I really liked him but not in a way that i should if i was going to keep dating him. I always told myself i wouldn't never be the girl that dated someone just to have someone no matter how bad i "wanted someone". In the end it was a good decision to stop dating him even if it was hard. Then school started getting really stressful. I was so so busy. I have never done more homework but never had worse grades.... I am constantly doing homework and sometimes feel like im drowning! I probably wont get good grades this semester. Then my grandma died. That was another huge stress! Now i find out that my dad has tongue cancer. We have no idea to what extent yet but it looks pretty darn serious. All this big stress in my life is kind of making all the little things stressful too. Some days are better then others. Im pulling through! But i have just given up on this semester. I am to the point that i cant take any more. I am just getting stuff done i dont even care how nice it looks or if the answers are right i am just getting it done. I have a severe case of senioritis....

Change....

i don't feel like doing my homework so i decided i was going to post to my blog. i just need to vent right now. I really wish that you could pick the things in your life that change. Last semester was awesome. I was relatively care free. I had good friends and i didnt have to worry about what i was going to do on the weekend it was just implied that i would be with them and we would do whatever. Dont get me wrong i still have good friends and awesome people in my life...but two friends in particular i have really drifted from. Its really hard for me. Things have just changed between us and i wish so much that they could be back to the way they were before. I could really use the friendship like we had before in my life right now. In so many ways i cant wait to get out of Eastern Idaho forever. At the same time i dont want to leave things unresolved. These two friends just dont even really seem to care about me any more and its really hard for me. I have really been making an effort to hang out with them again and leaving pretty much ANY and EVERY time open so that i could hang out with them again and they always find an excuse. Last night they completely ignored me. I just dont get things like that. And it really hurts that its not the same any more. My efforts are unrequited.

I really hate that i hate my last semester in Rexburg. This whole time i was thinking that i was going to have fun and make my last the best when in all reality it has probably been my very worst out of all four years. Not to mention one of my biggest fears the whole time i've been in rexburg has come true. The whole time i was worried that i would get to my student teaching and THEN realize that i didnt want to be a teacher. and well well well what do you know? I dont want to be a teacher any more. I know i would do well and be successful but i dont want to teach teach. I dont really like teaching a whole class. I love kids and i love teaching but i would rather do one on one or small group stuff.

PLUS Everyone keeps asking me where im heading after stuent teaching and i have no idea... im praying ill have an idea sometime before it actually gets here. My whole life is up in the air but im strangely ready for the challenge. I never thought i would say that but i am excited to grab life by the horns! I'm excited to make something of myself without having the crutch of my family, or BYU-Idaho or people i know in general. I really grow and learn when i am thrown into a new situation. Its what i do best....its what i have done my whole life. i hate being sad or lonely so i do something about. I think thats what frustrating me most right now....i cant figure out anything to fix hating this semester other then waiting for it to be over. I just need to suck it up and enjoy the journey...im just struggling with the "enjoy" part of it.

Is this my life?

I have had a really weird day today. I woke up to my mom calling me and telling my grandma is in the hospital and shes not doing very well. I have found out that she might not even make it through the night. And for some reason i am just feeling so overwhelmed and burnt out right now. so everything is just hitting me at once. I just feel like i want to give up! I just want to quit!! Im so scared for the rest of my life that is just around the corner. I feel so inadequate. I dont know where im going or what im doing! I am trying so hard to put my trust the Lord. Its really hard for me to just be living my life day by day. my life is pretty much planned for me until December and after that i have NO idea what i am going to do or even what i want to do! and im gonna be on my own! Am i ready for that? can i survive on my own? and the really sucky part is that i want nothing more to be done with school and out of Rexburg but at the same time its what scares me the most. I feel like i need a fresh start and just get away from everything for a while! I want to be completely on my own and i think thats what i need for a while. I think moving so much has really cursed me... its almost like i get too comfortable and it makes me uncomfortable...if that makes any sense at all. I almost feel like im being suffocated by living in a place im so comfortable. I guess in all reality i thrive on change. I have been in Idaho way too long... i have been in Rexburg way too long... i love it here but i just cant take it any more. I cant wait until i move to Utah. and even better when im done with school. who knows where life will take me next.

bored...

So i havent made a post recently... Not that any one even reads this... but what they heck... my life is pretty dull... im just going to school...it keeps me busy (it doesnt help that i procrastinate...) i think i decided that the Lord has been trying to teach me something for years now... and i just keep interpreting it wrong. I think oh yeah ok Lord i finally got what you wanted me to learn... and then it comes up again... I guess i am just not getting it. I am learning a lot about having the Lord constantly in my life. I love having him there to help me make discision and then knowing that they are right. I just have a hard time actually doing it.... Im still working on completely trusting him with out question. Maybe thats what im supposed to be learning. Any way... thats all there is to my life... haha i sleep, i eat, i go to class, i do homework and then start all over. :) I cant wait to be done....

What do I want? You tell me and we'll both know!!!!

I am at a weird stage in my life. Im getting ready to graduate from college. That is a big deal! But for some reason to me it doesn't feel like much. I see all of my friends going on missions, getting married, getting great jobs and I'm like wow they are really going some where! they are accomplishing so much they are really growing and moving on to a great place in their lives. But for some reason i feel like im at a stand still. I almost feel like well wow what have i done with my life? I almost have a college degree but i dont know where i want to go with it! With the degree i have i can go pretty much any where i want.... anyone that knows me knows that i am a TERRIBLE decision maker, so having almost endless possibilities is BAD NEWS for me! I could go any where and do pretty much anything.... but thats the thing... i dont know... you just pick a place for me! haha I wont lie....i always imagined myself married by now. By no means am i actually ready to be married right now...but i always thought i would be. I always just thought that when i graduated from College i would be married and i would just teach where ever my husband needed to be. As you can tell that is far from the case. I didnt plan this direction of my life. I have always been a planner. and pretty much my whole life i have planned up to a certain point and just done it. and when i get there i plan more....and its always just worked with minor adusting along the way. I get this idea in my head and i make it happen. So this is really new for me. I dont have any of my life planned from here on out and it freaks me out. It feels like Im staring into this pitch black cave and i have to leave almost everything and everyone i knew before outside of the cave and venture in. I just feel like i have no direction... Its good though. It is teaching me to take the Lords hand and let him guide me. Its teaching me that i dont have to see the whole picture i can just see parts at a time. Its making me really trust the Lord and put my faith in him. I know he will take me where I need to be. I also know that it doesnt mean it wont be scary and that it wont hurt. But it will be what i need when i need it and he will take care of me. He wont leave me alone.

Fall 2008

I hate when i get stressed. The semester is quickly ending and the homework and projects are of course piled high. I spent all day today doing something... 7:45 to 1:45 in class... and then 2-8:30 doing homework... after that i just felt so anxious i had to do something so i went and worked out. i just really had a crappy day today. It was long, and busy and something that always brightens my day was no where to be found... My teacher gets on my nerves more and more every day! its lucky i only have one more class of his ever because i dont think i could take it any more. I hate it when im like this because i hate being around people. I hate being like this and i dont want people to see me when im like this. Plus i want to still have friends at the end of the day. I really feel like i just need to sit down and cry but i cant. That always used to make me feel better and i would always do it but i havent really cried in probably 6 months or more. I dont cry any more. i need to calm down but i just cant seem to. UG i have to go do something!