Is this my life?

I have had a really weird day today. I woke up to my mom calling me and telling my grandma is in the hospital and shes not doing very well. I have found out that she might not even make it through the night. And for some reason i am just feeling so overwhelmed and burnt out right now. so everything is just hitting me at once. I just feel like i want to give up! I just want to quit!! Im so scared for the rest of my life that is just around the corner. I feel so inadequate. I dont know where im going or what im doing! I am trying so hard to put my trust the Lord. Its really hard for me to just be living my life day by day. my life is pretty much planned for me until December and after that i have NO idea what i am going to do or even what i want to do! and im gonna be on my own! Am i ready for that? can i survive on my own? and the really sucky part is that i want nothing more to be done with school and out of Rexburg but at the same time its what scares me the most. I feel like i need a fresh start and just get away from everything for a while! I want to be completely on my own and i think thats what i need for a while. I think moving so much has really cursed me... its almost like i get too comfortable and it makes me uncomfortable...if that makes any sense at all. I almost feel like im being suffocated by living in a place im so comfortable. I guess in all reality i thrive on change. I have been in Idaho way too long... i have been in Rexburg way too long... i love it here but i just cant take it any more. I cant wait until i move to Utah. and even better when im done with school. who knows where life will take me next.

bored...

So i havent made a post recently... Not that any one even reads this... but what they heck... my life is pretty dull... im just going to school...it keeps me busy (it doesnt help that i procrastinate...) i think i decided that the Lord has been trying to teach me something for years now... and i just keep interpreting it wrong. I think oh yeah ok Lord i finally got what you wanted me to learn... and then it comes up again... I guess i am just not getting it. I am learning a lot about having the Lord constantly in my life. I love having him there to help me make discision and then knowing that they are right. I just have a hard time actually doing it.... Im still working on completely trusting him with out question. Maybe thats what im supposed to be learning. Any way... thats all there is to my life... haha i sleep, i eat, i go to class, i do homework and then start all over. :) I cant wait to be done....