Utah: Week one!

Well I have officially been in Salt Lake for just barely over a week. I dont know if I realized how accurate it would be when I used the word adventure! It has definitely been interesting

The first few days I was at my apt alone. My wonderful roommate was in Greece. The first night I was so exhausted I just crashed. The next night my very active imagination got the best of me for a little while, but then I eventually got so tired I didnt care any more. I stayed pretty busy at first getting all of the odds and ends together and unpacking. Saturday morning I woke up and had a bowl of cereal. My milk was warm...but i didnt think much of it and just turned up the temperature and went about my business. That afternoon Millie came over. We went to see Time Travelers Wife (good by the way! I LOVE her wedding ring!) when we got back to my apt I opened the fridge so that we could start making dinner. The smell was pretty bad....and all the food was still warm! I looked in the freezer to see all the meat in there completely raw! everything was at minimum room temperature! Katie and I had tons of meet in there ranging from Salmon to chicken. All of which was completely runied and starting to smell. The freezer was dripping with all kinds of meat juices. Millie and I made a joint effort and cleaned out all the meat hoping to salvage the rest of the stuff in there. I called my land lord but he didnt answer. I e-mailed him, which thankfully he got later. I went to church the next morning and when we got back everything in the fridge and freezer had gone bad....my apartment smelt SSSOOO bad! I finally got a new fridge the next day. It took my landlord and like 3 other guys to haul the old one out (which started leaking all kinds of smelly juices as they did so) and bring the new one in. I made several futile attempts and making my apt smell better in the mean time. I bought like 12 air freshners, lysol spray, and all the ingredients to bake cookies. Once the old fridge was out life was good.

The next part of the adventure is driving in Utah.....I had always heard how terrible Utah drivers were but now I am witness! They are pretty scary! I dont think they really know what a red light means...they only stop if someone in front of them is smart enough to stop. I almost have a nervous break down every time i have to drive any where.... Besides the other drivers, I am not used to city driving. One minute you are in one lane and then suddenly that lane ends...or theres a median and you cant turn when you want to, or some idiot guy is driving down the turning lane so you can't get into the turning lane so you miss your turn and you cant turn around for another million blocks.... its stressful. Im sure it doesnt help that most of the time I have NO idea where I am going. I probably make the Utah drivers even worse.

Getting into my school had been a really FUN adventure! I finally met my cooperating teacher on Wednesday. I sat through a forever long faculty meeting, but it was really awesome to see how everything works. I got to meet some of my students and take a look at my school. From the outside Redwood looks really kind of sketchy. But its WAY nice on the inside! There is a computer for every two students on the desks. My teacher said she uses them all the time! I have this official badge that I have to have to get pretty much any where in the school as well. I feel pretty important! haha! My teacher is really sweet! She has been teaching for years but is the type that says we are going to learn together. She knows that both of us are learning from each other. She even went as far as calling it OUR classroom today! It makes me feel like the last 4 years of my life actually mean something! It really makes me proud of what I have accomplished! School starts on Monday and I am looking forward to getting in and meeting the students and start teaching!

Kelcie, my friend that was in the EL ED program with me, and i are going to the Salt Lake Temple tomorrow! I am So excited! I have always wanted to go inside the Salt Lake Temple! I used to want to get married there! It should be really fun! So far I am loving Salt Lake! There have already been a few ups and downs and moments where i am scared out of my mind, and I'm sure there are PLENTY more to come. But, overall, I feel like this is really where I need to be and the Lord is blessing me! More to come later I'm sure!!

Adventure: Part Two

Well, Im not gonna lie, the time from graduation to now has FLOWN by! I can't believe it! After graduation I worked and played with my niece and nephew for a few days. Then I quickly packed all my junk. (I never realize how much stuff I have until I get it all in one place) After a few days of packing and getting ready to go I started on my major adventure. I packed up my car and drove to Utah. I left my car at my Aunt Liz's house where my sister picked me up. That night I saw my apt for the first time ever! I will get to details of my apt later. I spent the night at my sisters in law's house and the next morning we started on our journey to Milwaukee. Before we left I had this feeling to check my flight information. I looked in e-mail, travel sites and anything I could think of and I couldn't find any proof at all that I had a flight home. Needless to say I was panicking. My sister couldn't make it to Milwaukee with just her and the two kids...but buying a new plane ticket was more the double the price i payed before and completely not an option. Luckily we finally got a hold of the company and they finally confirmed my flight home! Here are some highlights of the trip.

*Whitney (my sister) and I managed to quote our mom at the same time. Scott was jumping on the bed. We told him to stop but he wouldnt and fell and bonked his head. At the same time we said "that's what happens" just like our mother would say to us.
*One of the days I handed Grace a granola bar to eat for a snack. I glanced back a few minutes later to see she had some granola in her lap. Then I saw it was even down in her crotch area. She was in a dress and when I went to wipe it out I noticed there was chocolate on her leg! I started laughing so she looked then screamed (sounding almost exactly like her mother) "What the heck is on my leg?" I was still doubled over in laughter when I hear " IS IT POOP!?!?!" I tried to clean her up but I was laughing way to hard. I have a picture...but its a little too revealing to share... haha
*I accidentally taught my nephew how to say 'Puke'. He kept repeating it the rest of the time i was there....oops
*I was official navigator for most of the trip. The bridge over the Mississippi was closed so we had to go the long way around. The maps were small and hard to read but luckily Whit saw a sign and swerved across a few lanes to get to the exit. It looked like we were in the middle of no where but luckily it took us right where we wanted
*When we got to Milwaukee we went to the Jelly Belly Factory and got free samples. On top of that I think I bought enough Jelly Bellys to last a lifetime....
*We went to the Milwaukee Zoo. It was a way good Zoo! I liked it a lot! There was a new jaguar that came running at the glass and gave me and my niece a heart attack until we remembered there was glass there. It was a little scary to have a huge cat running at you...
*One night my niece and I had some pudding. My sister asked how it was and I replied "Well... you know that taste you get in your mouth when you're sharpening your pencil?" It had an after taste like when you smell pencil shavings and you can kind of taste it. (Yes I realize how ridiculous it sounds now...) Whit just looked at me like what??? and then burst out laughing. The funniest part is that at the Jelly Belly factory there were jelly bellys that were pencil shaving flavored! haha I wanted Whitney to try it so that she knew what I was talking about...for some reason she declined. haha
*Best of all I got to spend a ENTIRE week with my sister and niece and nephew. Three of my favorite people in the whole world! I dont get to see them much, so to spend so much time with them was PERFECT. I loved it so much!

My flight home went smoothly in that I had no problems, but there was a WHOLE lot of turbulence. I was super tired when I got in to Salt Lake and still had to move ALL my junk into my apt. My mom tried to follow me to get my brother and we got separated and lost. I was getting so frustrated and scared etc....I had like a mini panic attack. To make a long story short i ended up driving around a lot. I got on the free way to see my hood wiggling around. It had popped open and I was driving down the freeway! Not to mention my phone was gonna die any second and if it died I would have no hope of finding my brothers apt. When I finally found my brother I was a giant stress ball.....Then we didnt get to my apt til almost 6. Luckily both my studly brothers came to help me move it all in. Then we had to go get my bed and desk. Then for some random reason we decided to go to a movie. Keep in mind ALL of my stuff is sitting still packed in my apt. After the movie we went shopping for a sec to get me a little food and then I came back to my apt and crashed. I ended up sleeping on the couch because all my stuff was still packed.

This morning my mom came back and we went shopping. I spent a butt load of money getting odds and ends and food that I needed. When we got back from shopping my mom took off to go home. I spent the next few hours doing some unpacking and setting up. I put together my desk with no problems. Then i tried my hand at the bookshelf. I did pretty good at first but the majorly screwed up and didnt have the tools to fix it. I gave up unpacking for the rest of the day. I finally showered and went and hung out with my brothers.

All in all Salt Lake is pretty good so far! I have been kind of a giant stress ball the last few days but i think i am starting to calm down a bit. There are lots of stressful things going on in my life right now. Last week the doctors said that My dads cancer was officially in remission. We were all so excited! My dad has been feeling SO much better and much more himself. He couldnt wait to get rid of the trac and feeding tube. They told him he could get it removed today, but after doctor appointments they decided that the cancer is not gone. They are not 100% sure but they think it is back, and that they will have to take the rest of his tongue and who knows what else. I dont think my dad will do treatments again. They are doing tests this next week to make sure and see what else they can do. So who knows what will happen. Moving to Salt Lake has also hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully my brothers are both pretty close and they have been so good at helping me and hanging out with me. So far so good. Driving is a bit of a stress for me. I think all of this Salt Lake stuff is just a matter of adjusting. I am making some major life changes. But I'm hanging in there! The Lord is guiding me and I just have to really put my faith in him. He has a plan for me and i really have to remember that right now.

Life is good! stressful but continuing onward! Salt Lake adventure: Begun!

The beginnings of my wonderful adventure!

So this week was the beginning of my adventure. I think I should probably clarify and say something more like the beginning of my chaos. I have been trying to stay pretty busy to make the time pass, but I kind of over scheduled. I don't even know what I was doing most of the time but i just felt so busy.
Monday an Tuesday are boring same old same old stuff so i will skip over them. I was pretty busy in that i had one thing after another but good none the less.
Wednesday my sister and her kids got here. Its been so fun having them here! My niece and nephew are hilarious!
Thursday I worked in the morning and then as soon as I got home from work my family had a BBQ in my honor. It was so nice! My grandparents from both sides, and my aunt Terry came. (my sister and her kids were there too along with my parents) My brothers came a little bit later. I had to be in Rexburg at 5:30. I walked into the Clarke building and wound my way through what seemed like miles of people. I actually saw my friend Lauren! The guy next to her was actually nice enough to switch with us so we got to stand together in line. We roasted alive! it was so hot. We finally got going and walked all the way from the Clarke to the Hart slowly but surely. When we got there we walked through the faculty lined side walk and they all clapped for us. It was a cool experience. Once we got into the hart we realized that our lines were splitting so Lauren and I didnt even get to spend the sweltering hour next to each other. Bishop Richard C. Edgley spoke and Im sure it was good I was SSSOO hot i could NOT pay attention.
After commencement we had to book it up to the Hinckley building so that we could make it in time for my convocation ceremony. I thought it was funny because I knew more people in other departements of my college then I knew in my own. I sat by pretty much the only girl in my department I knew. The ironic thing about Convocation is that the person that handed me my diploma cover was my most disliked teacher at BYU-Idaho.
All in all it was a good experience and went very well. It actually went really fast and didnt seem real at all. It felt almost like I snuck in to the ceremony and someone was gonna catch me and kick me out any minute! haha. But it was real! My brother said now you are officially smarter then me, and you can prove it! haha. Adventure is well on its way! Even though it doesnt quite seem real.

Step one of my New Adventure: Complete

looking into the distance, but remembering what is behind me....

You know, its funny to me how life changes almost in an instant. Most of the time its for the worse when it changes so fast but this time i think its for the better. It seems like all of the sudden something has just clicked with in me. I have spent the last year avoiding the topic of moving on in life and graduating and and and.... but finally i feel "ready". I put quotation marks because its ready in a round about way. I dont know if i am prepared enough... but i know this is what i need and where im supposed to be. Im still scared out of my mind, but everything has just come together. I have known since last summer that I needed to be in Salt Lake and now that i am finally going its like everything in my life is just kind of lining up just right. I feel like its where the Lord wants/needs me. Who knows what will happen! Who knows what I will do while I'm there, or how long i will stay, but for now its what I'm doing! Even a few weeks ago i was really dreading having to let go of certain friends, and while im still not thrilled about saying goodbye, i know that its what i need! And i feel like i have finally finally finally gotten a bit of the closure i needed with someone in particular. It may not be what i want....but Im ok with it now... we both have so much ahead of us. There is a time and a season for everything (and probably everyone). Thank goodness for such wonderful memories and the wonderful people in my life! I cant wait for the many more to be made!! One of my favorite Rascal Flatts songs is called My wish....this is to all the people that i have to say good bye to.

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Student Teaching!!!!

I got my placement!!!! Hooray! I will be student teaching in:

Redwood Elementary - West Valley City - Mrs. Berrio's 4th grade class

I am really excited! I am also really glad that it is NOT 6th grade! I was really nervous for 6th. I knew it was going to be 4-6 so 4th is what i was hoping for. I looked it up and found out that the school is about 7 miles from my apt! The map quest thing I used said it would take about 15 mins to get there. That is very nice because I thought it was going to be out in the Sandy/ Jordan area, which is a bit further. Well thats all for now! I have a ton of homework to catch up on so I can be SURE to graduate! :)

Rexburg Memories

As my time in Rexburg is quickly coming to an end I wanted to write down a few of my favorite memories while I was there. I have been working on this for a while and finally decided to publish what I had. So here they are. If you have any you would like to add feel free!!! I hope they make you smile and or laugh like they made me!!! Enjoy!

Winter 06

• Trashing Katie and Vals room for their birthday's and then spending hours after they got home dancing, singing, taking pictures, and cleaning.
  
• Destiny's Child - Kelly, Kristi, and Deidre. Enough said.

Fall 06 (i had a hard time remembering much about this semester)

• Making Horkley trips with Ashley all the time. Especially the one time she slammed on the breaks and the lid to my pop came off and spilled all over my lap so that it looked like i peed my pants. Then when i got out of the car she played a really mean joke and was like oh hey rob how are you??? Rob was the boy i liked....he wasnt really there but i panicked for a sec...haha
  
• Making our roommate slide show!
  
• Val's engagement party!

Winter 07

• Meeting Emme! The first time I ever met her she grabbed my butt. I knew it was the beginning of a great friendship! :) We spent every waking moment together that semester.
• Going to Adams apt with Emme.
• Walking to Broulims with Emme and Allison. I wasnt paying attention and walked into a tree branch. They both laughed the rest of the way home! Emme and Allison have never let me live it down. Emme still cries laughing if you even mention it to her.
  

Fall 07 (probably one of my favorite semesters)

• Our FHE brothers!! Mike, Drew, Matt, Mark, Joey and. We all got so close and had so much fun!
• Bonfire night with all the roommates the first weekend together. We got all dressed up and ended up driving around the back roads of Rexburg/St. Anthony/heaven knows where trying to find the sand dunes. We finally got there and rolled down the hills and got SUPER sandy!
  
• Spice girls reunited. :)
• Cajun Bob and all his craziness with Emme.
• Shattering the display case at Dillards by dropping a perfume bottle an inch above it with Matt. HAHAHA
  
• Climbing to the top of the Snow building with Emme, Mike, and Drew. Drew lifted Emme and me to the top with one arm....AND Drew scaling the side of the taylor building. Mike, Emme and I all thought he was going to slip and die.
  
• That same night sneaking around the construction sight where the new auditorium is (it wasnt built yet, they were just digging up the ground around where it is....) We had to sqeeze through this gate to get out and my pants got stuck on it... i thought they had ripped.
• Breaking curfew to walk Mike and Drew to the bus at 2 in the morning. We drug their suitcases from Alpine to the Hart in the snow...down the middle of the road! Emme, Mike, Drew and I were the four amigos....we spent like the whole day together just being bums...
• Once Emme and i dropped Mike and Drew off we walked home and waited on the corner by our apt for the bus to drive past... we saw it coming and then it went a different way. We went home and sat on the floor and cried. Then we stayed up the rest of the night taking pictures, eating chocolate and talking when we were supposed to be packing and cleaning!
  

Winter 08

• Krystal sleep talking! "OH CHAPTER 11!!!" I had to leave our room because I was laughing so hard.
• Reading Junie B Jones with Krys as our bed time story!
• Meeting Salena and Katelyn! Two of my favorites!!!
• My first time ever snowboarding! I was SO sore the next day i couldnt get out of bed but it was AWESOME!
• Our door knob breaking and being locked in our apt until we found a screw driver. We had a dish towel as our door knob the rest of the day. Our managers yelled at us for taking the door knob off! HA we wouldnt have gone to class that day if we wouldnt have...maintenence requests take about 95 years at Colonial....
• All my alpine boys!!! I was over at Alpine at least twice a week hangin out!!! Thats when i started hanging out with Chris Austin Mitch and Jared and Adam (vicarious alpine boy), our crazy premi FHE bro's, Alex, adam once in a while etc etc

Fall 08 (a tie with Fall 07)

• Mitch, Chris, and Austin moved into our ward and were our FHE brothers! Which means we just hung out that much more!
• Going to Krystal, Shane, Chris and Mitch's softball games with Katelyn "He's such a good kisser! I mean CATCHER!!!"
  
• Driving around the first time it snowed with Katelyn, Austin and Sean.
• Going to the Hart with Katelyn and always watching Sean Austin Mitch and Chris play basketball
• Reading scriptures and deep conversations over hairballs in the hall or vanity with Katelyn because our roommates went to bed SUPER early!
  
• Going to the haunted house with Emme, Mike and Sean. Sean was such a chicken he made me be in the back....Im still a little bitter
  
• Going to Seans football game in the BLIZZARD outside and Austin hogging all the blankets in the middle
• Cocoa Bean with Sean
• One time when i was walking to class i had my i pod in. Austin saw my from a distance, came up behind me and grabbed my hand. It scared the crap out of me and he just laughed.
• Walking home from class with Austin
• High School Musical 3 with Matt and Katelyn!
• My amazing Physical Science class!! loved the girls at my table, my teacher, and everything we learned! especially about the stars!
  
• Oh man.....i have too many memories from this semester....i could go on forever....

Winter 09 (worst semester EVER)

• Allison being my saving grace! I would have died if she werent my roommate!!!
• The Late night bonding time with my roommates. "OH, stupid jokes? like the banana is yellow??"
  
• Erica falling and getting a concussion. Its only one of my favorite memories because the paramedics put her on a stretcher and when they were strapping her down they told her they were gonna put a strap under her arm pits and she stopped with all the babble of being confused and stated very firmly "THEY'RE UNDER ARMS!"
• High school musical 3 and getting Tamara addicted!!! BOO YEAH!
• Tamara dancing every where she goes.
• Nichole saying "i hate (insert anything here)" all the time!
  
• Having my first official date on Valentines day....but it was the last date with my ex boyfriend and i had already broke up with him....Im sure you can imagine how that went....
  
• My Ucon kids!!

Summer 09

• hanging out with Tamara and Nichole and all the incredibly random things we did.
• Skipping school to go to Seattle with Katelyn
• hangin out with the amazing girls at work! especially our watch party!
  
• These arent quite memories yet....but GRADUATING!!
  
• getting my student teaching placement.
• MOVING TO UTAH!
  

Finally! Some Adventure!

So as of right now, my life is still not very adventurous. I get up, I go to work, every Monday Wednesday Friday i go to class, I come home, eat dinner, sometimes i do my homework and then i go to bed. BUT my friends, that is soon coming to an end and i CANT WAIT! I am getting so excited (but nervous at the same time) for my adventure to begin! This is what the rest of my summer looks like!

Wednesday of this week I pick up my cap and gown! WEIRD (maybe this time my cap will actually fit my head...when i graduated high school they placed my order as a boy so i had to use an extra cap and gown so i could be white like the other girls, not red like the boys. The extra cap was much too small for my rather large head so i had to use like 57 bobbie pins to keep in on my head, which i then forgot about when i had to take my cap off to throw it in the air at the end of graduation...needless to say I didnt end up throwing my cap.... any way... thats another story....)

Wednesday of next week I find out my student teaching placement!!! I am so excited i can hardly stand it! I just want to know! I have been like stalking out the elementary schools in the Jordan district.

Wednesday in two weeks I have my final for my class and after that I will be DONE with classes in an actual classroom. At least where I am the official student. The very next day (thursday the 23rd) I GRADUATE!!! I havent decided if I am going to commencement or not yet. But i am for sure going to my convocation! You are all invited to come! If you didnt get an invitation already it is at 8 pm in the Hinckley Chapel. The part I am probably most excited for in graduating is the simple fact that probably at least 2 of my 3 siblings will be there!! None of my siblings where there when i graduated high school and i was really bummed! but hopefully they can be there for when i graduate college! Plus My mom said that a lot of my extended family is trying to come too! YAY! The next few days i will probably just hang out with the family that is still in town.

The week after graduation is my last week at work. I am actually really sad to leave work. Probably the only thing i have actually liked about my summer. I LOVE the girls i work with and the kids are so fun and sweet! A lot of them make my day! I have like the perfect job for me. I will be really sad to leave, but SO excited for my up coming adventures!!

After my last day of work on the 31st. I have 3 or 4 days to finish packing up ALL of my junk! (i have a TON so it will probably take me the whole time!) and THEN I am going on a ROAD TRIP to Milwaukee with my sister Whitney and her kids. She wanted someone to drive back with her since her husband is flying back and i very willingly volunteered! I love road trips, and i love my sister and my niece and nephew! How could i resist??? so 3 days on the road to Milwaukee with my favorites! We will get to Milwaukee about the 8th or 9th and then I will spend a few days with them in Milwaukee before flying back to Salt Lake on the 12th of August.

I get into Salt Lake around 2. Hopefully I am feeling human enough to move into my new apt. I found out today that my one and only roommate Katie will be Greece until the 17th!! So I will have the first few days in Salt Lake all by myself! That is a little intimidating but all part of the adventure right???

After i am in Salt Lake a few days I start my student teaching!!!!! YAY! like i said i wont know what school or grade until the 15th...but as soon as i know i will post it on here! yahoo!!! Adventure HERE I COME!

Boondocks.... HAHA

A friend did this and i thought it would be fun! Plus im bored and avoiding homework! YAY!!! HAHA a lot of them turned out pretty funny

Rules:
1. Put your iTunes, iPod, MP3 Player, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag at least 10 friends, if you include me that'd be nice. :)
5. Have fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Hard to say - Hootie and the Blowfish (HA!)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
80's Joint - Kelis

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Brass Bed - Josh Gracin

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Feel Bad - Rascal Flatts (HAHAHA thats funny)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Don't wait - Dashboard Confessional (interesting....)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Dont 'cha - Pussy Cat Dolls (thats right...you wish your girlfriend was hot like me....)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Catch My Disease - Ben Lee (i have a disease??)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Nicest Kids In Town - Hairspray

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts (a little too true right now)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Wasting my life - Hippos

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Back Home - Yellowcard

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sunshine in my Soul - Mormon Tabernacle Choir

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
We're All in This Together - High School Musical

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
You'll be in my Heart - Usher (Tarzan) ha :)

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Good Will Hunting by Myself - Ludo ( i dont think so...)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Irreplaceable - Destiny's Child

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
She'd be California - Rascal Flatts

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Take A Bow - Rihanna

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Mix Tape - Brand New

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Wouldn't it Be Nice - Beach Boys

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
No One Mourns the Wicked - Wicked Cast (apparently that they are wicked)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Bookdocks - Little Big Town

Songs!!!

So this is just lyrics to a song that i love right now. It fits! Its called Fighting by Yellow Card

Said I'd move on and I'd leave it alone
But before I walk out there is something that I need you to know
I got lost in the blink of an eye
And I could never get back, no I never got back …

You were not there when I wanted to say
That you were everything right
And it wasn't you but me that changed
Now I gotta go it alone
But I will never give up, no I'll never give up.

What am I fighting for?
There must be something more
For all these words I sing
Do you feel anything?

Said “I'm ok”, but I know how to lie
You were all that I had
You were delicate and hard to find
Got lost in the back of my mind
And I could never get back, no I never got back

You were not there when I needed to say
I hit the bottom so fast
That my head was spinning ‘round for days
Now I gotta go it alone
But I will never give up…
No I'll never give up…

What am I fighting for?
There must be something more
For all these words I sing
Do you feel anything?

What am I fighting for?

What am I fighting for?

Never give up….. on this
Never give up…. Up on this
Never give up…. On this
Never give uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup on this

Said “I'm ok” but I know how to lie
I will never give up, no I'll never give up

What am I fighting for?
There must be something more
For all these words I sing
Do you feel anything?

What am I fighting for?
No, I'm never gonna give up, give up

What am I fighting for?
No, I'm never gonna give up, give up

Said that I'd fight for the one that I found
I'm gonna stay here while I wait for you to come around
I'll fight, you're a part of me now
And I will never give up, no I'll never give up

Here is one that i keep listening to trying to make it my theme song right now...its called No Reins by Rascal Flatts

She left that loser in a dust cloud
Heart in his hand, chin on the ground
Cried her last tear for that clown
She can see a little clearer now
She said, "Oh, oh, I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free

[CHORUS]
Like a painted wild mustang
Flyin' out across the open range
Finally gets to live her life that way
No fear, no fences, nobody-no reins

No reins

All she's ever felt is held back
She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh"
She's gonna do a lot more of that
She's makin' plans and makin' tracks
She said, "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free

[Repeat Chorus]

Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go
Oh, oh whichever way the wind blows
Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go

[Repeat Chorus Twice]

No reins

Come back to me, I cant get you out of my lonely mind!!

Holy Moly.... i know this is like all i ever talk about any more but it just feels so unresolved and i feel like i am making like NO progress. Its like the only thing ever on my mind.

I want so badly to move on. In more ways then one. I am just clinging to the past. To something that I know will never be the same, but just cant seem to let go of, for no good reason! I think I am making horizontal progress.... i am realizing more and more....but i dont feel like i am actually going any where in actually moving on. Part of me thinks its still vaguely the same and if i just made more of an effort it would be the same again. It's like im trying to justify it. And it just frustrates me to no end because i KNOW with out a doubt that the Lord has bigger and better things in store for me if i can just let this go, but for some reason i cant seem to. I have read all these things about get rid of pictures, get rid of songs that remind you, etc etc but i cant do that!!! i want to hold on to those things! They remind me of the good times! If i am ever going to get over it, i just need it to be gone but i want to savor what is left. Its not completely bad, but im just so stuck on it. I really need to get out and meet new people, but at the same time i dont see a point because i am leaving for Utah in like a month and a half. It just really makes me want to move to Utah that much more. At least that way I wont have the option of having it around. And i will be busy and keep my mind off of things. I will be able to start a new life for myself. Right now its not really what i want, but its what i need. Any way, more later probably...but i really need to go to bed.