Come back to me, I cant get you out of my lonely mind!!

Holy Moly.... i know this is like all i ever talk about any more but it just feels so unresolved and i feel like i am making like NO progress. Its like the only thing ever on my mind.

I want so badly to move on. In more ways then one. I am just clinging to the past. To something that I know will never be the same, but just cant seem to let go of, for no good reason! I think I am making horizontal progress.... i am realizing more and more....but i dont feel like i am actually going any where in actually moving on. Part of me thinks its still vaguely the same and if i just made more of an effort it would be the same again. It's like im trying to justify it. And it just frustrates me to no end because i KNOW with out a doubt that the Lord has bigger and better things in store for me if i can just let this go, but for some reason i cant seem to. I have read all these things about get rid of pictures, get rid of songs that remind you, etc etc but i cant do that!!! i want to hold on to those things! They remind me of the good times! If i am ever going to get over it, i just need it to be gone but i want to savor what is left. Its not completely bad, but im just so stuck on it. I really need to get out and meet new people, but at the same time i dont see a point because i am leaving for Utah in like a month and a half. It just really makes me want to move to Utah that much more. At least that way I wont have the option of having it around. And i will be busy and keep my mind off of things. I will be able to start a new life for myself. Right now its not really what i want, but its what i need. Any way, more later probably...but i really need to go to bed.