I think too much...

For some reason, lately I have been thinking a lot. I kind of hate when I get in these moods because everything else in my life kind of goes out the window. My brain like zones in and just wants to figure out whatever my mind is on. But another problem is that my brain is thinking about so many things that it cant focus. I end up getting no where because I can't organize my thoughts. Here are some more random ramblings in an attempt to organize my thoughts.

The boy I talked about earlier... I have been struggling with what I was supposed to do. I talked to a friend and she told me that I should just step back. I came to the conclusion that he is either trying to or has moved on, and I should do the same. I guess there just comes a time in life when people grow apart. i wish it wasn't that way, but maybe its the way is supposed to be. I have really really restrained myself in how much i talk to him. Its been hard but i think its necessary. There's a song by Kelly Clarkson and it says, "whenever i see you i swallow my pride and bite my tongue, pretend im ok with it all, act like theres nothing wrong." Which is what i am trying to do.

Another thing on my mind is moving. I really don't like Rigby and cant wait to leave. I have actually gotten to the point that i enjoy going to work! The girls i work with are SO awesome and fun that it makes it totally worth it to me. I think that we work together very well and we have become good friends. They are all about my age too! So, i will be sad to leave work, but excited to go to Utah. My mom gave me my birthday present early because it was big and she couldnt hide it once she bought it. It was a really nice luggage set. It was not was i was expecting but i actually loved the gift! at the same time it really made me sad. She told me i figure you are moving on in your life and you need some real luggage for when you move. Number one, it kinda hit me that ---Im moving on----- im leaving home....probably for good. Number two, with my dads cancer stuff going on my parents have literally no money. I know it was a huge sacrfice for them to get me such a nice gift. It really made me realize how much my parents love me, and how much i love them. They want what is best for me and have always given me nothing but support in all the things i wanted to do, no matter what. Which in turn, makes me even more sad to leave them.

I have just really realized how incredibly blessed i am lately. I have an amazing family, and wonderful people in my life. The Lord blesses me so much and I can see now how he has done things just when I needed them to help me become who he wants me to be. Things that may seem like something I didnt want, turn into something that is for the better. The Lord knows what hes doing. I have to remember to trust that and leave it up to him. Example number one....last semester. At the time it seemed like my life was falling apart and everything that i dreaded was happening. But looking back, I wouldnt trade that semester for anything. In the end i really loved the semester. It was by far my most challenging but possibly most rewarding. I created friendships that im sure i will never loose.

After President Eyrings talk at Devotional on Tuesday I have been looking back on my experience at BYU-I. It went so incredibly fast!! It's so crazy to think how much i have experienced since i got to Rexburg January 2006. Each semester brought new people and new fun! All of which will have a special place in my heart for many different reasons. I kind of think of each set as a new chapter in my life. Each one helped me grow a little bit more and in a little bit different way. All of them were so different and completely unexpected. I have also been thinking about how privlidged i was to attend school where i did. I had a temple so close and a school made it easy for me uphold the standards i knew i wanted to follow. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I just really need to be patient and trust him always.