Boredom Ensues...

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: water

2. Last phone call: Chase to get directions to his cabin

3. Last text message: My Mom saying see ya soon

4. Last song: Savior, Redeemer of My Soul - Dallyn Vail Bayles

5. Last time you cried: um... a week or so ago? i cant remember the exact date

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: kinda?

7. Been cheated on: no

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No

9. Lost someone special: YES

10. Been depressed: It happens, life is tough!

11. Been drunk and threw up: nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Blue

13. Purple

14. Green

SINCE LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes!!! I have funny roommates

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: yes

20. Found out someone was talking about you: kinda

21. Hit anyone on your FB friend's list: not in anger...hahaha

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: Met all of them at least once.

24. Do you have any pets: nope

25. Do you want to change your name: No way

26. What did you do for your last birthday: dinner with the fam, ice cream just dance and a movie with the roommies!

27. What time did you wake up today: 8:30-ish

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing a silly game 

29. Whats something you can't wait for: SAN DIEGO/ SIX FLAGS this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30. Last time you saw your mother: about an hour ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself: im pretty happy with myself most days.

32. What are you listening to right now: a leaf blower drying out my crawl space.... long story...........

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yep

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: deciding what to do.....

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook

37. Nickname(s): Kels, Kelson, Kelso, 

38. Relationship Status: single

39. Zodiac Sign: gemini

40. He or She: Well I'm a she, but I like hes?

41. Elementary: Metcalf and Rivergold

42. High School: Star Valley and Stevens

43. College: Brigham Young University - Idaho

44. Hair color: brown

45. Long or short hair: long

46. Height: 5'10 ish

47. Do you have a crush on someone? do we have to go there?

48. What do you like about yourself: I care a lot about other people.

50. Tattoos: nope

51. Righty or lefty: righty

52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth

53. First piercing: Ears

54. First best friend: Rhoda Sevingy

55. First sport you joined:T-ball

56. First vacation: Probably camping.... or else to Portland Oregon when I was 4...

59. Eating: Reeses.....yum.....

60. Drinking: nothing

61. I'm about to: take a nap

62. Listening to: Didn't we do this one already?

63. Waiting for: Thursday so i can go to San Diego

YOUR FUTURE

64. Want kids?: YES! someday

65. Get Married?: Someday!

66. Career?: Teacher! 

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes : I notice eyes before lips... so eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: depends

69. Shorter or taller: taller

70. Older or Younger: not too picky

71. Romantic or spontaneous: both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: eh... either or neither.

73. Sensitive or loud: depends on the moment

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

75. Funny or Shy?: funny

76. Kissed a stranger: No

77. Drank hard liquor: nope

80. Broke someone's heart: unfortunately

81. Had your own heart broken: Yes

82. Been arrested: Nope

83. Turned someone down: yes..... 

84. Cried when someone died: YES

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: most of the time

87. Miracles: Yes!

88. Love at first sight: no

89. Heaven: yes

90. Santa Clause: no

91. The tooth fairy: No

92. Angels: yes

Man.... i think that made me more bored.... HAHA

Power of Music

WOW!! I went and saw 17 miracles... I dont usually full on cry in movies...and I didn't in this movie until the very end... A song came on that was SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO powerful! its called "Savior, Redeemer of my Soul" by Dallyn Vail Bayles......AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! Lyrics to follow!!! BUY IT NOW!!! Listen to his version while you read the lyrics!

1. Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

2. Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

3. O’errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Life is a Gift!

As my previous post kind of alludes to, I have been doing a lot of introspection, a lot of thinking. Yes, about how it's easy to be blinded by what you think you want instead of you really want (aka what the Lord wants for you). It's easy to be prideful. I spent the day in a bit of a tizzy because (to make a long story short) my car was acting up. Yes, my brand new car. Yes, AGAIN! So, I spent pretty much my whole day figuring it out and getting it fixed. Apparently my car needs a solid platinum hose to pump freaking steering fluid... ok... so maybe that was a BIT of an exaggeration, but even so the stupid hose was $280 alone! And with labor it ended up being $460 to fix it. Yup, even got a second opinion... Like I said, solid platinum hose..... 
But then my roommate text me and said she found tickets to Journey and we decided to go!

When I got home, I got news of a person in my ward that had passed away. I didn't even know this person, but even so it was yet another slap to the face. Here I am so easily upset, then so easily pleased all in one day. I have taken advantage of being alive and well and being able to live with MANY MANY blessing and many things that I don't REALLY need. It made me realize we shouldn't take our lives or ANYTHING in them for granted. Being on earth is such a blessing and such an amazing opportunity and you never know when it's going to be over. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy  the little moments in life. One of my project quotes even says "Moments are the molecules that make up eternity." Soak up everything you can and BE GRATEFUL!!!!! EVERYDAY!!!

2X4...WHACK

Remember that 2x4 I mentioned in a previous post? The one that the Lord often has to beat me over the head with before I learn a lesson? I feel like I have gotten it a lot lately. The Lord has really made me see how stupid I have been (in a good way). I have really felt reprimanded lately, again in a good way. I really needed it to realize a lot of things. I realized how scared I have been. I am really good at putting up a front and pretending (maybe sometimes so well that I actually believe it) that I know whats going on and what I want. The Lord says, it's not about what YOU want.... and The Lord has made me realize that a lot of me "knowing" was really me being scared and putting up a wall. It hasn't been the first time, but at least this time I recognized it fairly quickly. Hopefully it will be the last. I wish I could go back and take down that wall A LOT sooner. My heart kind of aches to think of how it could have been. In complete honesty, it sucks learning the hard way... and realizing how it could have been, but I am fairly optimistic. If nothing else, hopefully I have learned my lesson. Hopefully I can stop being so scared of growing up and being an adult and moving on to the next step in my life. I am worried that the opportunity may not present itself again, but luckily I have the gospel and I know life is all about starting over and learning! Hooray for learning life lessons, usually the hard way...

Favorites as of Late...

My background is one of my favorite color combinations...yellows, greens(I almost spelled green, grean... I need to get back into to teaching, my brain is turning to MUSH) blues, add some orange maybe! LOVE IT! If I get married any time soon those will be my wedding colors! with GRAY! I kind of LOVE gray tux's right now too...

I am really getting into the vintage-y stuff!! I secretly sometimes wish I could pull off being "hipster"  not meaningall the way... but sometimes they dress REALLY cute!!!

I LOVE craftgawker.com! Coolest thing ever! it has a lot of vintage-y stuff too!! still getting used to pintrest... but it has peaked mine if you know what i mean ;)... ok.... that was cheesy....

I LOVE getting to take a nap if I want to! It's quite possibly my favorite thing EVER! I don't always do it, but it's so nice to have the option...

I love having friends that seem to know when you need a talk (about nothing really...) even when YOU don't realize it until after

I love having roomies that make you laugh AALLLL night long....

I LOVE Dr. Pepper... oh wait... that's not new...

I love having the anticipation of a new job...and seeing my niece and nephews...BOTH in a month!

I love thinking about getting all my teacher junk OUT of my room!

I love glitter toes!!! So cute!!

I love having TIME... I can sit and think.... which is honestly one of my favorite things. I can take a walk, I can do a project. I can read! I can really do WHATEVER I want WHENEVER I want. True, I may not use the freedom to it's full extent...but again, it's nice to have the option.

I LOVE being able to google something real quick on my phone... like an address, or the name of that actor I can't remember etc etc etc. It's so handy to have and often feeds my intense (and extremely random) wonderings that would other wise be forgotten due to my ADD....

I love strawberry shakes lately.

Lots of loves.... T.T.F.N.

Tootie's got a job!!!!

I am the newest teacher at Whittier Elementary!! (of course I automatically thought of you, Tara....) I am going to be teaching 3rd grade and I am SSSOOO excited! It's funny because I went into the interview this morning  really groggy and not feeling myself. I had some really weird dreams last night that I can't really remember, I just remember being confused the whole time.... So I was still feeling the after effects and felt like I didn't say a single intelligent thing the whole interview (but strangely I never got nervous. I was actually really excited the whole time. Foreshadowing??) but around 1 pm I got in the shower and when I got out I saw I had missed a school from a district phone number. Thinking it was another school calling for an interview, I listened to my voice mail. I was SHOCKED when I heard the voice of the principal I just interviewed with! Only a few hours later! I freaked out at first and was too nervous to call her back. I had to think about it because there is a position at the school where I did my student teaching....and I would have LOVED to go back there... But, I still didn't even have an interview with Redwood and it's not a guaranteed job there either... I felt REALLY good about Whittier and decided to take the job. I called her back and she offered me the job! I am SSOO excited! It's a REAL contract this time too, so even if, for some reason, Whittier doesnt have room for me next year, I will get surplused and just have to move schools instead of actually having to interview again! THANK GOODNESS for the Lord teaching me and BLESSING me! Thank goodness for answered prayers! and Thank you ALL for praying for me and supporting me throughout this CRAZY time in my life! :)  Opening faculty meeting is August 15th and school starts the 22nd!! YAHOO!!!!!

PS a note about the title... my nephew Spencer tried to say my name today and it came out "tootie" HAHAHAH so funny!

Stand Still, Look Pretty

Have you ever done something that you really regret? I have. Very recently. If I had another chance, I would do almost everything different. I regret the situation for a lot of reasons. I feel like several friendships were injured in the process and unfortunately I am on the giving AND receiving end of the injured relationships. It has really gotten to me lately. For one, I felt terrible for the way I treated someone that was very close to me. For another, I feel like things were said that established that sometimes people really think of me what I hope they don't. They expressed things about me that are quite possible, but were not purposeful. But to them they were purposeful. It hurt to know that they thought those things about me. They said a lot with their actions. Maybe it's bad, but I feel like a lot of the things are what they really think of me. I really took what they said hard. Thankfully, I feel like for the most part the issue that was my fault has been resolved and we are friends again and with time will be back to normal. As for the others, I don't think they really feel bad about what happened. I guess I just need to forgive and forget. I don't even think they know how much it has bothered me. (even after I tried to tell them) Which just tells me they really don't know me very well. PS All of these 3 were some of what I consider to be my closest friends in Salt Lake. 


Along with all the friend issues I still don't have a job. It's unbelievably frustrating, disheartening, de-motivational, etc. etc. I will have interview number 6 on Tuesday. I had one today, that I still haven't heard back from. I shouldn't complain. At least I am getting interviews, right? Even so, I got denied the job for interview number 4 only hours after having the interview, right smack in the middle of all the friend drama. I am a worrier, so of course I am freaking out about what the future holds. Worst case scenario runs in my head over and over.... only I can't even quite imagine worst case scenario because I honestly I have NO idea what I will do if I can't get a job.


It's hard because I feel like because of the stress, my sensitivity is heightened. I am kind of to the point that I feel like I just keep  getting kicked while I am down. I am really trying to stay positive, which is honestly REALLY hard right now. I am pretty good at putting on an act and pretending to be normal, but I have spent a lot of time alone for a reason. Time passes in such a strange way because I just zone out, not really thinking about much specific or else the exact same thing over and over... and then my day is suddenly over. Any way... I really like this song, and I feel like it kinda fits for now. Life WILL get better, I just gotta hang in there.


I want to paint my face
And pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

[Chorus]
I am slowly falling apart 
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
In the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
Even believe this is my life